The Road Less Traveled
by Daintress
Summary: Bella's worry over Jacob's disappearance drives Edward away a second time. Years later, when she's had time to come to terms with herself and grow up, she and Jacob meet again. He, too, has matured. Can they build a life together? And what about Edward?
1. Chapter 1

Bella tapped loudly on Billy's door with her foot, her hands taken up with the huge casserole dish she'd brought. There was no answer, and she was getting quite wet. With a wry expression, she fumbled for a minute, shifting a potholder to the bottom of the dish, and holding it one-handed while she turned the knob to let herself in. It was spring break, and she hadn't been to visit since Christmas. This would be a great opportunity to get the floors swept while Billy wasn't home. He always protested when she tried to help keep the place clean.

She put the casserole in the fridge for later, and shook her head at the pile of dishes in the sink. It wasn't easy for him to reach them, she knew. It looked like Emily hadn't been by lately. She started running the water, fishing the dish soap out from under the sink.

As she worked, she thought about the term paper that was due when she got back to Dartmouth. Being an English major was a lot more fun than the discipline she'd originally chosen, and most of her assignments kept her mind occupied even when she wasn't actively working on them. It was a fortunate thing.

Thinking, however, couldn't keep the world at bay entirely. Eventually, her neck started to prickle, and she cast a glance over her shoulder nervously, wondering if Billy'd come home and she hadn't heard him. When she did, the coffee mug she was washing fell to the counter, bounced, and shattered on the floor. She gasped. Leaning against the front door, arms folded angrily across his bare chest and with an expression of mingled disbelief and loathing, was Jacob Black.

"Jake?"

She whispered his name just as he growled, "What are you doing here?" They both blinked in silence for a moment. Then Bella raised her chin.

"Dishes. I come by to see Billy when I can, to help out." she replied evenly, studying his expression.

She wasn't surprised when his next words were, "Get out."

Bella nodded slowly. "Of course. I'm sorry I disturbed you." She stepped over the mess she'd made and towards the door. He shrugged away from it and opened it for her, but she paused and looked up into his face.

"I'm glad you're home, Jake," she said quietly.

"That makes one of us." His voice was cold. He looked over her head, instead of down into her eyes. She nodded again, and ran for her truck as the door slammed behind her. The rain had picked up. It soaked her almost immediately and it occurred to her that Jacob had been dry. He'd been in the house when she arrived, then. She wondered when he'd returned, and why no one had written to her. She'd received a letter from Quil and Embry only last month, and they hadn't mentioned Jake at all.

She threw open the truck door, anxious to get out of the rain, and out of Jacob's line of sight. She'd obviously managed to hurt him again just by appearing here. But before she could jump inside, a warm hand closed around her elbow and pulled her back, slamming the door closed with enough force to knock another clear inch of rust into the pooling water.

"I've changed my mind," Jacob growled, still furious, but quieter. Bella swallowed and looked up into his angry eyes until he released her and turned away. When he started back to the house she followed, closing the door quietly behind herself. Jacob was already sitting on the too-small couch in the next room. She stepped over to the sink while his eyes were turned away and shut off the water before it could overflow. Then she bent and began picking up the ceramic shards of the mug she'd dropped.

"Leave it."

She looked up. He was glaring at her from the other room. Bella bit her lip, threw away the handful of pieces she'd already gathered, and went to stand near where he was seated. There was only the one couch, after all, and she didn't imagine he'd want her that close to him. As she stepped into the room, Jacob leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and dropped his face into his hands.

Minutes passed in silence. "I'm back for twenty minutes!" he grumbled to himself finally. Then he looked up. "What are you doing here?" he asked again. Instead of sounding angry, now, his voice was filled with pain.

"I'm sorry," Bella said at once. "If I'd had any idea you were home, I wouldn't have come. I just wanted to look in on Billy – bring some dinner..." she trailed off. There really wasn't anything unusual about her coming here. She was here a day out of three, each time she had a break from school, and every summer.

"I thought you were," he paused, then narrowed his eyes, "_going to college_," he finished. But they both knew he wasn't talking about college. He thought she'd be a married vampire by now. She had thought so, too.

"I'm finishing my junior year at Dartmouth," she said anyway. He didn't respond, but he leaned forward again and his head fell back into his hands. The silence stretched so long, Bella began to think he was probably finished talking to her. She waited anyway. The least she owed him was the satisfaction of throwing her out again. And she wasn't the same Bella she'd been when he left. She was strong enough, now, to give him that without breaking.

"You aren't wearing any rings," he observed, though his eyes were still focused on the floor.

Bella took a deep breath, then sat down cross-legged on the floor facing him. "Jake, I called off the wedding when I heard you'd left." Again, the silence seemed to sprawl out like actual distance between them. "That – hurt him, of course. From then on, every moment of silence, every glance into the woods, every blank expression seemed to hurt him more. Near Christmas that year, he dropped out of school and disappeared. It finally hurt more to be with me than it had to be away, I guess. I'd chosen him, but he couldn't accept that I still cared so much for you." She thought for a moment. "It's possible, too, that the more worried I got, the more I mentioned you in my sleep."

Jake kept his face in his hands, long after Bella fell silent. "You probably wish you'd never met me," he whispered finally, realizing that even in his absence he'd managed to ruin her happiness.

"No, of course not, Jake," Bella replied. "You were there for me – my own personal sun – during the darkest time in my life. Without you, how could I ever have learned to survive? I'd still be that broken girl who couldn't function without him."

Jake thought about that for a minute and then turned his head to look at her. "Who was there for you this time?" he asked bitterly.

Bella smiled sadly. This time had been much the same as last, at first. But then subtle differences had brought her back to consciousness much faster. She still had Alice, for one thing. Alice had come to stay with her over the Christmas holiday right after Edward had gone. Having proof that she hadn't just imagined the Cullens kept the nightmares from returning. It also helped knowing that no matter how badly it hurt, she was still capable of love. Jacob had taught her that.

After Alice went home, either Embry or Quil had been out to the house every day for the rest of break. Back at school, she'd changed her major, and the work was much more difficult than high school. She couldn't get away with attending Dartmouth on autopilot.

"This time was easier, somehow. I learned how to get by." _And I realized that I can't be trusted with anyone's heart,_ she added to herself, _that the world is safer for the people I love if I'm alone._

Jacob stared at her, surprise wiping away the bitter mask. Then he sat back and changed the subject. "Thanks for taking care of Billy."

Bella smiled. "It was the least I could do. And speaking of that, I should clean that up before he gets home," she added sheepishly, gesturing toward the kitchen. Jake's eyes followed her hand, noticing the wolf charm and diamond that still dangled from opposite sides of her bracelet. Then, finally, a bit of a smile crept onto his face. He stood.

"I'll help."

They picked up the broken mug and finished the dishes in silence. When they were nearly done, Bella looked up at him. "I left a casserole in the fridge," she said, trying to force her voice into a normal tone. "Try and leave some for Billy, okay?"

Jacob nodded, but the atmosphere changed subtly. "You're going, then?"

"It was never my intention to cause you more pain, Jake. I'll head back to school as soon as I can."

"But you'll be back this summer." The expression on his face gave away the hopeful tone he was suppressing. Bella didn't answer at first. She'd been afraid of this from the moment he'd stopped her from leaving. She rinsed out the dishrag she was holding for much longer than really necessary.

"It's better if I don't," she said quietly. "I'll find a job near campus to keep me busy until next year."

"Why? Because I came back?" he demanded, sounding honestly confused, and more than a little hurt. Again. Bella closed her eyes.

"Jake, I've done a lot of thinking these last few years. I've grown up a lot thanks to you, and Edward, too. I benefited from knowing you both in ways I'm only just starting to realize. But it didn't work both ways. Neither of you benefited from knowing me at all. All I've done is cause you both the worst sort of pain. I think it's better if I just stay away. I'm strong enough, now, to make it on my own. But I'm not strong enough to live through hurting you like that again."

Jake stared down at her, his face twisted with pain. She tried to meet his eyes, but winced at the expression he wore, and looked away. "Please," she whispered. "I need to go."

"Because if he ever wants you back, you'll go to him," Jacob guessed, his voice suddenly cold again.

Bella looked up at him, startled. "He's not coming back, Jake, but if he were, I don't know if I could be with him. I can't stand to hurt him any more than I can stand to hurt you. I –" she broke off. For the first time in several weeks, she felt tears starting in her eyes. She forced a chuckle and continued. "I've broken every heart I've touched. Ruined the people I cared about most. It's really just better if I'm alone. Goodbye, Jacob."

This time when Bella ran for her truck, he didn't stop her. She could see in her mirror that the door to the house stood open behind her, the rain slanting in to soak the floor. She tried not to picture him still standing by the sink as she drove as fast as her truck could manage toward Charlie's house.

Bella said goodbye to Charlie outside the airport. She'd changed her flight to the very next day, but the earliest she'd been able to manage was a six PM lift-off. Fortunately, dating a vampire for several years had improved her skills. She'd been able to lie to Charlie convincingly, and get out of Forks by nine AM. It was no great hardship to browse the airport shops for the day, though it wasn't long before she was wishing Alice was around. Shopping was always more fun with someone who got excited about it.

She passed some time in the bookstore, and emerged with several things she wished she'd found on her way TO Forks. Her stomach growled, and she started looking around for a decent place to eat. That's when she noticed him.

Jacob was staring up at the Departures board in a distinct bubble of space – no one seemed comfortable standing right next to him. She almost turned around and went back into the bookstore to hide behind a shelf for the next few hours. Or headed for her gate, to get passed security right away. But on his face was the crumpled look of pain she remembered so well, and she found she couldn't just walk away. So, she approached him cautiously. He seemed to feel her eyes on him almost immediately, and turned to stare at her.

Slowly, his face smoothed into a pleased expression. "I knew you couldn't have gotten so early a flight on such short notice," he commented when she stopped in front of him. He was wearing the smallest possible amount of clothing, and his tee-shirt was not his own. She'd washed that for Charlie just two days previous.

"You're much harder to fool than Charlie. Did you run all the way here?"

Jacob shrugged at her incredulous expression. "It's faster."

"Why are you here, Jake?" she asked sadly.

"Well, you aren't the only one who's spent some time thinking, you know? I thought maybe you'd like to hear what I've come up with."

Bella couldn't think of an argument for that. He'd vanished for the better part of three years, and naturally she was dying to know where he'd been. What he'd been doing. If he was okay - he'd been okay enough to be angry when he saw her.

"At least let me buy you some coffee or something," he wheedled.

Bella shook her head, but smiled. "Alright, then," she mumbled.

They found a place to eat, and a table. It was the middle of the day, not the most popular time for flying, so they were able to sit a little apart from everyone else. You couldn't exactly discuss vampires and werewolves in front of the average US Airways customer.

As they sat, silently sipping their drinks, glancing at each other and then glancing away, Bella began to notice the changes in Jacob. His face seemed content. Not like he was mimicking Sam's even temper, but like he'd found one of his own. The calm that graced his features wasn't Sam's anymore, and she found she liked the expression much better.

When he began to speak, she was looking away, contemplating that. She hoped she hadn't ruined whatever peace he'd been able to find. Her own peace had taken so long to build, and she didn't want this conversation to bring it crashing down around them both.

"Bella, it took me a long time. I tried not think about it at first, you know?" he said quietly. She turned her eyes back to him. He'd set down his drink and had both arms on the table, leaning toward her. His face was more open than she'd seen it since his return.

"But eventually, it was all I _could_ think about. After that fight with Leah, I was worried mostly that he'd kill you in the process. I couldn't face coming back to La Push and hearing you were dead. I knew if that happened, I would find him. I would – do something you'd have never forgiven me for. That kept me away a long time.

"Then, there was the other problem. What if he _didn't_ kill you, and you were one of them when I got back? The treaty would be broken. Would the pack move against you? Would Sam give me the order to kill you?" Jacob broke off, and Bella registered the tears starting in his eyes. She didn't look away, though, and they didn't fall. "I couldn't come back to that. Even if you smelled like them, and every base instinct I had was screaming that I should kill you, you'd still be Bella. I couldn't put myself under Sam's authority again if there was going to be war. I chose to desert the pack to their fate rather than fight with them, and risk hurting you. That kept me away for a long time, too."

Bella continued to stare into his eyes, as spellbound by this as she'd been by Billy's legends at a long-ago bonfire. Jacob looked back at her, his voice still quiet, but authoritative.

"The answer to my fears was easy, but not a choice I was ready to make at the time. If you'd been changed, I simply would have had to become the Alpha when I returned. I wasn't ready for that. I needed to think long and hard before I felt comfortable with the idea at all. It was – not a choice I could make for your sake. I had to make it because it was who _I_ am, not because of who you are. Does that make sense?"

Bella nodded, swallowing hard. Here was the majesty she had once glimpsed in Jacob Black, come to fullness. Her heart seemed to swell, and she blinked and stamped down on it. He continued as if he didn't notice the flash of warmth in her eyes, but she knew he'd probably seen. Jacob had always understood her instinctively.

"Once I'd come to terms with that, I may have spent a few more months worrying over whether the pack would want me back," he admitted, his tone turning sheepish. "I'd run from my pain like the coward I was – left them to fight alone if there was going to be a fight. Even if I was ready to be Alpha, maybe no one would follow me.

"But finally – finally I realized that I wasn't just the Alpha, and I wasn't just the prodigal wolf, either," he said, suddenly grinning before turning serious again. "That time taught me a lot about who I am, and I was something more than either of those. And then, suddenly, I wanted to come home."

He fell silent, picking up his drink again and leaning back in his chair. The spell seemed broken, and Bella took a sip as well. "I'm glad you did," she said finally.

"Honestly, I am, too. In all that time, I never once thought I might find you here – still human. I did a lot of thinking last night, too."

Bella winced. This was the part she'd been dreading. "Jake -" she began warningly.

"No, just listen, please?" He waited while she sighed and nodded. "I'm sorry I was so hard on you. Seeing you was a shock. I'd only just made it back, and I was near Montreal when I decided it was time to come home, so I was tired. I was sleeping when you knocked, but I didn't get up to answer the door. You can imagine my surprise when you came on in like you owned the place, bearing food – the first human food I'd had in a long time, incidentally, and it was really good – and cleaning up all the dishes I'd already been feeling guilty over." He flashed her a grin and she chuckled in spite of herself.

"I don't blame you, Jake. You have every right to hate me."

"You're not listening. I don't hate you, Bella. How could I? I was just surprised." He leaned forward and pried her hands off her Styrofoam cup, entwining their fingers the way he always did when he wanted her attention. They both stared at their joined hands for several long moments. Finally he extracted a hand and put his palm to her cheek, forcing her eyes back to his. "I've changed in a lot of ways, Bella. So have you. But I've always loved you. THAT has never changed. It never could."

Bella smiled sadly. "I know, Jake. I'll always love you, too. That's why I have to go." She watched his face fall as he lowered his hand back to the table, and felt an answering disappointment in herself. She'd come so far, learned to be so self-sufficient in the years since Jacob and Edward had both left her behind. But she knew, now, that saying goodbye was always going to be impossibly painful. In spite of herself, she gathered his hand back in and held it securely.

"Bells," Jake said after a moment. "I know you love him, too. I knew that before I even knew I was in love with you. I would never leave you for that."

"I know. That isn't why –"

"Stop that, just listen!" He cut her off gently, impatient with her refusals. "I thought, back then, that I could offer you everything. That we could spend our whole lives together, and be happy. But I can't. I don't know when, or if I'll ever imprint. What time I have to spend with you might be all the rest of my life, or it might be only a few weeks or years." He paused, but Bella only looked at him, her eyes filled with sadness, and the beginnings of tears.

"And you don't know when he might turn up again. When he does, you'll go with him. We both know that. It could be tomorrow. Or next year. Or never. But either way, you've only got so much time you can give me." He took a deep breath, his eyes never leaving hers. Then he squeezed her fingers.

"It doesn't matter how much time we have, Bella. I want it. I'm willing to accept that it can't be forever. I won't even try to kill him when he shows up. Just tell me – tell me you'll come home for the summer, Bells. Tell me you'll come home."

Somewhere during this speech, Bella's tears had spilled over, but she couldn't seem even to blink them away. She stared at him for so long, crying silently, though her breathing was even, that he started again.

"_Please_, Bella. Don't leave forever. If I can wait for you, I will. Just say you'll come home." He watched as she closed her eyes, whether in defeat or defiance, he couldn't know.

Bella could feel the urgency in his voice like it was his own warmth, reaching to surround her from across the table. And it was comforting in a way that alarmed her. This hadn't been in her plan. She had hoped to never be in a position to hurt him again, not to have to make this awful choice a second time. Her heart welcomed his words even as her mind feared them. She didn't answer. Finally, her cell phone rang. She jumped, gasping, and dropped his hands.

"That will be Alice," she predicted, reaching for her purse. Alice was used to her future disappearing when she was going to La Push, but she'd been informed of the change in plans early that morning. She knew Bella was at the airport right now.

Jake's smile began before she'd even answered the phone. By the time she'd exchanged greetings with Alice Cullen, it was the bright smile that reminded her of the sun. Her own personal sun. She wiped her eyes on her shirt sleeve as she spoke.

"Hi, Alice... no, I'm fine... I thought that must be why you called. Sorry to have worried you." She looked warily over at Jake, but he was leaning back in his chair, looking immensely pleased with himself. "I'd appreciate if you wouldn't mention it to anyone, though," she told Alice after another pause. She nodded as Alice assured her that Edward was careful never to ask about that sort of thing. His only questions were about the Volturi. That made Bella frown, and for the first time, Jacob looked concerned.

"Have you seen something about the Volturi, then?" she asked worriedly, whispering as quietly as humanly possible. She knew Jacob would still hear it, but no one else was close enough. It wasn't the sort of thing she could afford to have a random vampire overhear.

"No," Alice answered quickly. "He just wants me to keep an eye on them. If I see anything, you'll be the first – well, no, you'll be the second to hear about it."

"I'd like to be the first, thanks, it's my neck," Bella replied with a dark chuckle. "You can call him after."

"Right," Alice agreed. But Bella could hear in her tone that she was humoring her. "I hope –" Alice paused, and then continued after a moment. "I hope you'll be happy, Bella," she said finally. "He would want that, too."

"Thanks, Alice."

They hung up, and Bella looked guiltily over at Jacob, who was gazing away from her now, into a crowd of people who'd just arrived and were heading toward the escalators. There was no trace of annoyance on his face. "I didn't tell you everything about Italy, before," she admitted in a whisper. "But I can't tell you here. It'll have to wait for the summer."

When he looked back at her, Jacob was grinning again, triumphant. "I can wait," he affirmed. And she knew he wasn't just talking about the Volturi story. She smiled back at him, and took his hands again. They had a few hours, still, before her flight, and a lot of catching up to do.

He laughed out loud when she told him about her original major. "I thought I'd study to be a veterinarian. I figured once I changed, I'd be strong enough to be useful to the pack. You were the only one who could have morphed in that much pain. If it had been Sam, even, we would have had no one who knew what a canine bone was supposed to look like." She laughed with him, but she noticed that his eyes strayed to her hands, resting lightly in his. She hadn't needed to hold herself together to say it. It had been a year, maybe more, since she'd been that fragile. He'd smiled even wider.

When it was time for her to leave, Bella felt more confusion than she knew what to do with. She was sad, of course, to be leaving him behind. But the emotion she felt most, and the one she feared most, was hope. She wanted to hurry and get back to school, so that she could come home again. She struggled to make sense of her own feelings, as they walked toward security. She didn't have anything with her but her purse and the books she'd bought earlier, so at least she wouldn't have to stand in the longest line and watch him walk away.

Before she could approach the conveyor belts, Jake stopped short, pulling her back toward him with maybe a little more force than necessary. He noticed, for once. "Sorry," he whispered, lowering his head to look in her eyes, the beginnings of a smile turning up the corners of his lips.

"I'm used to it," Bella returned, grinning back. They looked at each other for a long moment, and then she stepped even closer, holding her breath.

He cocked his head, hesitating over the teasing words that were on the tip of his tongue, but in her eyes he could see a strength that hadn't been there before, and he decided to risk saying them. "Am I reading your body language right, this time?" he asked gently, already wrapping his arms around her waist.

Bella laughed, her hands running up his arms to tease the hair at the base of his neck. "Yeah, Jake. I think you've finally got it down."

When he kissed her, it was nothing like the demanding kisses that had made her angry, nor the sweet kiss that had made her sad. His lips were hot, and burned against hers, galvanizing the hope that had begun to grow in her heart. It was a kiss full of promise, and it seemed to go on forever, but not nearly long enough. She let herself get lost in it – in him – until the sounds of the world started to press back into her consciousness. He seemed to pull away at the same moment, grinning sheepishly.

Bella passed through security in a bit of a daze, and waved before she headed to catch her plane. Jacob watched until she was out of sight and then let his eyes drift across the crowd of people that were walking behind her. Finally, he made his way back through the airport, and started the long trip home. It took a while to get out of the city, but once he did, he raced through the woods, back to La Push. Back home, where it finally felt like he could belong again.


	2. Chapter 2

Bella was disappointed when she spotted Charlie, standing alone, staring into the crowd of people who'd disembarked with her. Fortunately, she saw him first, and was able to force a smile onto her face before their eyes met. He looked thrilled to see her.

The car ride home was uncomfortable. Charlie was clearly bursting at the seams to tell her something, so he was forcing conversation that felt painfully unnatural. He asked about finals, of course, and the few friends she'd ever mentioned to him in the last few years. He asked if she was seeing anyone, and she rolled her eyes and didn't answer. But he never quite got to the point.

Finally, Bella heaved a deep sigh and said, "So, have you run into Jacob? How's he doing?"

Charlie looked at her out of the corner of his eye, then focused again on the road in front of them. They were just entering the city limits. "Well, now, it just happens I did," he answered, "and here I thought I'd get to be the one to tell you he was home."

Bella laughed. "Quil and Embry beat you to it by most of a month. Usually between the two of them they can manage to scratch out an entire page and mail it off to me. Their last letter was three pages long, so I knew something was up even before I opened it. How's the repair shop doing?" She didn't mention that she'd also received more than one letter from Jacob himself during her last few months away at school. Clearly Jake hadn't mentioned to Charlie that they'd seen each other. She wondered if he'd returned Charlie's tee-shirt and sandals, at least.

Charlie laughed. "Well, I take the cruiser out there every other week for a tune up. Seems like business is steady."

Bella caught herself scanning the trees as they pulled up to the house, but there was nothing to see. She noticed Charlie watching her carefully throughout the afternoon. He'd glanced into her room while she sorted laundry with a disapproving expression, but went to watch his game without commenting. However, after she'd started the first load, and puttered out into the kitchen to start something for dinner, he got up and stood in the doorway.

"Aren't you going to La Push, Bells?" he asked quietly, as she was about to begin defrosting the chicken. She withdrew her hand without starting the microwave and turned around.

"Do you think I should?" They had parted well, but she still recalled the anger on Jacob's face when he'd first seen her. A lot had been said since then, of course, but all they'd really decided was that she would come home for the summer. She was nervous. Maybe he would come to her.

Charlie was eyeing her thoughtfully. "I suppose that depends on where things stand right now. Are you seeing anyone at school?" he asked again, with overdone casualness.

Bella laughed. "Is that your way of asking if I've heard from Edward?" she said lightly, proud of her ability to say his name without more than a dull, achy thud from her heart in response. She'd been preparing herself to have to talk about him for several days. "I haven't. I doubt I ever will. But that doesn't mean Jacob and I – I can't believe we're having this conversation," she finished, laughing.

"It's not the worst conversation we've ever tried to have," he replied jokingly. "And you should go to La Push. We'll both go. Stick that back in the freezer and we'll pick up some pizza on the way."

Bella was fairly certain she didn't want to have Charlie present for her next conversation with Jacob Black. In fact, she'd really rather not have Billy there, either. But Charlie obviously thought he was helping, so she let herself be herded out to the cruiser. It was a very quiet drive to La Push, and she found herself missing the sound of her truck's engine, her usual companion for this trip.

When they arrived, Bella went to knock on the door while Charlie got the pizzas out of the back seat. He was only a few feet behind her when the door was wrenched open from the inside and she disappeared.

Jacob lifted Bella by her waist and spun until his back hit the wall beside the door, his lips on hers before she had time even to register what had happened. Her eyes widened, sightless, for a moment, but his mouth was hot, insistent. She closed them, and she discovered it was easy to kiss him back - like breathing, as he'd predicted so long ago. It didn't even occur to her to wonder what Charlie would think, at first.

For long moments, Jake held her tightly against him, and she clung to him, her feet dangling, useless and forgotten. She wasn't going anywhere, anyway. When he finally lowered her back to the floor, she found she was acutely aware of the rest of him for a moment before she stepped just slightly away. He kept his arms around her, but ducked his head, realizing why she was uncomfortable being so close. As usual, he was just in cut off jeans – barefoot, and with no shirt. "Been thinking about that last time a lot, have you?" he teased in a whisper.

Bella grinned, recognizing the question for the jab it was. She didn't reply. He didn't need to know just how often she'd thought of his last kiss. But the joke broke the moment, and Bella glanced nervously over at Charlie.

Charlie had arrived at the door, and was now grasping the pizza boxes tightly enough to dent them. His eyes were on Billy. He'd meant only to glance at him, to share in the outrage that was a father's right. But Billy had been grinning from ear to ear, and Charlie hadn't looked away. When he felt Bella's eyes on him, he forced himself to keep walking towards the table, kicking the door shut behind him, and putting their dinner down so he wouldn't be tempted to destroy it. Billy's obvious happiness calmed him in a way nothing else would have.

"Go for the gut," he whispered as he passed her. They all laughed, then, and the atmosphere settled into the laid-back friendliness that Bella had always associated with La Push. As usual, she never wanted to leave.

*******

"Jake?" Bella pulled open the glass door, set in the glass front of the tiny building Charlie had given her directions to this morning. The linoleum, checked blue and white, was grimy under her feet. She looked around. The front office was tiny and filthy, and she shook her head, thinking the place must have been deserted for quite a while before Jacob and Quil had claimed it. It was going to be like his messy garage all over again.

There was a high counter, but no one behind it. A door to the left said "Restrooms" and the glass door to the right opened into a three-bay garage. She opened that door and stuck her head inside, unable to see much through the filthy glass. "Jake?" she asked again.

"Yeah, over here," came a muffled voice. There was the sound of rushing wheels, and then Jacob's head appeared from the other side of the car in the second bay, low to the ground on a little rolling platform that he was obviously pushing around with his feet.

Bella laughed as the annoyed expression on his face turned into his sunshine grin. "You're short," she commented. She never got to look DOWN at him, after all. She walked over as he rolled himself back under the vehicle he was examining. "And awake way too early, from the look of it." His tools were already scattered around him, as though he'd been working for quite some time.

"Wanted to get done early today," came the reply from under the raised Chrysler. Bella grinned at nobody, and folded her legs underneath her to sit on the floor near him. He noticed. "You'll get filthy," he warned.

"I'm dressed for it. I know better than to show up in _your_ garage and wear something I can't get dirty." They shared a laugh as they both remembered the many good times they'd spent working on the motorcycles. Bella fell silent first, though, as she recalled the time he'd sprayed her head to foot in soda. Not all the times had been good.

He was clearly involved in his work, so she told him she had some errands to run, and she'd be back. Then she went into the little office, and around the counter. She found a notebook, with a hand-drawn weekly schedule. She tore a blank page from the back and the first thing she wrote down was "appointment book." In five minutes, she had listed everything she thought she'd need to clean the place. It was quite a list, but it would give her something to do while Jake was working.

The shopping took less than an hour. She arrived back with her arms full of bags – window cleaner and paper towels, floor cleaner, a bucket, a sponge, a mop, an OPEN/CLOSED sign for the door, and two appointment books, one for this year, and one for next.

Quil was standing behind the counter squinting at their current appointment book, but when he heard her truck he came to the door, just in time to let her in. "Hey. Heard you were home." He took all the bags from her left hand. "What's all this?"

"Just something to keep me busy while Jacob's under that car," she said, reaching up to hug him. "How've you been? How's Claire?" She, Quil, and Embry had become even closer friends in Jacob's absence. They'd really looked after her in the beginning, and it had quickly become her habit to hang out with them and the rest of the pack when she was home from school. She even considered Paul a friend these days.

Quil went back to trying to decipher Jake's handwriting, launching easily into a story of Claire's latest exploits. Bella cleared the counter, and shooed him out from behind it, notebook in hand, and listened. There was very little that was more endearing than Quil talking about Claire. She smiled to herself as she set about wiping down every surface in the room.

When Quil met the customer he was waiting for at the door, and asked them to pull around the back, she started copying their appointments into the new book, writing slowly to keep her atrocious handwriting legible. When she'd finished that, and returned everything on the counter to it's original position, she started with the front glass, standing on a chair to reach the upper half. She was glad she'd purchased more than one roll of paper towels.

By the time Jake was finished for the day, the front office was spotless – shining, even. Bella had made another trip to the store just before noon and bought them doormats, toiletries for the bathroom, and a radio, which was playing quietly when he came into the office. He stood on the black mat and looked around. Then he glanced down at his grease-covered jeans and grimaced. Bella looked up from the counter. She'd picked up a stool for behind it, too, so she could see over. Not EVERYONE was seven feet tall, after all.

"I didn't realize I'd been out there so long," Jacob said, as she hopped off her stool and came over to greet him, grinning.

"Well, I know you get a little obsessive. I thought I'd better find something to keep me busy and out of your way."

"You wouldn't have been in the way," he disagreed warmly, leaning down to kiss her. Conscious of his dirty clothes, he didn't try to get too close. But when she reached a hand up into his hair, he unthinkingly put his to her cheek. They broke apart, breathless, to the sound of Quil's laughter.

"Oh, shut up," Jake grumbled, throwing an annoyed glance at his friend just before his hand fell from Bella's cheek. Then he got the joke and started laughing, too.

"What?" Bella asked, feeling self-conscious.

Jake realized he couldn't do any more damage, really, and reached up with his thumb to smear the grease that was already coating her cheek. Then he showed her his hands. "Sorry. You distracted me."

Quil laughed louder, and went back outside. Bella shook her head, and went to wash her face. Jacob followed, afraid to touch anything.

"You didn't have to do all this, you know? We'll pay you back, though –" he began, thinking she'd probably spent way too much on the various things she'd purchased for them.

"You won't," Bella cut him off, muffled as she spoke into the paper towels she was scrubbing with. "I haven't had anything to spend money on for a long time, and I've been saving up. Besides, it isn't like I can do much else to help out. I'm better off staying out of the garage. You'd just be taking me to the ER all the time." She didn't add that she had no desire to go see Carlisle just now, but Jacob was looking at her like he already knew it. She stepped back into the office so he could wash his hands.

"So, what do you want to do today?" he called, when he was sure he'd got most of the grease off his hands. "I think you worked harder than Quil and I combined. We should go out."

"I don't want to go out. I want to go to La Push. I haven't seen Emily in forever." Emily had also been very good to her, and they'd become close during the summer after her freshman year.

"You want to go to La Push?" Jacob asked incredulously. But when he appeared he was smiling. "Did Charlie see you at all when you came home for breaks? You spend all your time there."

Bella looked up curiously and Jake shrugged. "Running with the pack that first time would've been hell if I hadn't already seen you," he explained. "They think about you all the time, so I know you've been around a lot." He added silently, _and you're all Billy talks about, but I don't mind._

Bella grimaced. "I'm sorry. I didn't even think about how that might affect you when you got back," she admitted worriedly. "They were all so kind to me..."

"Good thing, too," Jake said flashing her a grin to head off the melancholy he heard in her voice. "Or they'd have been in a lot of trouble. But I don't want to go visiting. I want to do something fun."

Bella raised an eyebrow. "Not cliff-diving." Jake only laughed.

"No. But your bike's still in my garage..."

Bella got an odd look on her face, and looked down quickly to hide it. "I don't feel like riding bikes." She flipped closed his new appointment book and came out from behind the counter.

Jacob picked up on her sudden embarrassment easily, and it surprised him that he could still read her so well after all this time. "But there's _something_ you want to do," he guessed, his voice confident as she came to stand in front of him, her eyes on the now-shining floor.

He was considering forcing her to look up at him, when she suddenly made it unnecessary. Her eyes snapped up to his, and he inhaled sharply at the wicked smirk that crossed her face. "I had this dream once," she said, still smiling slightly, "about wolf-back riding." Jake broke into a fit of laughter over this, but inside he was a little shocked. The Bella he remembered would never have admitted such a thing, much less worn such an expression. He decided he liked this new, less easily embarrassed Bella quite a lot.

"Is that right?" he asked finally, still snickering. "And not once in all the time you've spent in La Push did you mention this dream to any of the guys?" But he knew the answer already. If she had, they'd have still been laughing about it years later.

"Well, I wasn't riding just _any_ old wolf," she joked, and saying it that way, looking up into his face, brought the blush – later in the conversation than he'd expected, but no less welcome for it.

"That's a relief," he whispered, stepping closer. He'd intended to kiss her, but she stepped back.

"You've got to change your jeans first," she said, eyeing the grease spots warily. They both laughed again.

"Sure, sure. I'll come pick you up at Charlie's, then."

Bella left a few moments later, smiling and excited. Jake looked around his new front office and shook his head. She'd cleaned every possible surface. It looked like she'd even scrubbed the walls. Behind the counter, he noticed the appointment book, filled out in a very neat version of her handwriting. He looked at it for several long minutes, not really reading the words.

Quil caught him at it, and Jake raised his head defiantly, just _waiting_ for the comments to start. Quil had a big mouth. But he only smiled at him, and gestured around himself at the office. "She really outdid herself. I thought she went nuts cleaning Billy's place, but this is amazing."

"She is amazing," Jacob agreed. Quil looked at him oddly for a second, his smile faltering.

"What?" he asked worriedly, but Jake only shook his head.

"She wants to go wolf-back riding," Jacob confided. He figured he might as well tell him now. The pack would hear all about it later, while it was happening, probably. Quil laughed even louder than Jake had done.

"Oh, I've got to be there for that." Both men shook their heads, chuckling. It was certainly going to be an unprecedented evening for the pack. Jacob decided not to tell Bella that they'd probably all be running with him. (He didn't need to read Quil's mind to know that he was going to blab this to everyone at the first opportunity.) With luck, most of them would stay away. He could make it an order if he had to – if Leah was being spiteful again.


	3. Chapter 3

Bella and Jake walked into the woods, not far outside Billy's house, holding hands. Bella was watching him in her peripheral vision, noticing the enigmatic expression on his face. When he stopped walking, and she turned toward him, it vanished in the brightness of the smile she'd always thought of as hers. She reminded herself it had only been two days since her return – since they'd started whatever this was they'd started. They still needed to talk things through. She knew she wasn't going to be able to walk away from him. His kisses had made that clear enough, though they still had so much to decide...

"Can I trust you to close your eyes, or do I need to run off into the trees?" Jake asked jokingly, derailing all her worries.

Bella, expecting SOME kind of ribbing from him, only smirked again. "I'm not making any promises," she teased. But she did close her eyes.

Jacob looked at her for a moment and decided against it. He'd already changed into just his sweats, back at the house. He stepped silently around behind her, took them off, strapped them to his ankle and changed. Then, immediately, he growled. Jared was in his head.

_He didn't even give her a chance to peek!_ he was lamenting. He broadcast his desire for silence and was promptly ignored. Nearly everyone was present and laughing in his head, except the teenagers and Leah. For that, at least, he was thankful. Sam was also conspicuously absent.

Bella had turned at his growl. She didn't comment on his lack of trust in her, so he assumed she'd been trustworthy and not tried to peek. Jared laughed at him, and he growled again.

"What's the matter?" Bella asked, her head turned to the side. He instantly regretted making any noise at all. He knew better than to worry that she might be frightened of him. Since the day she'd first recognized him in this form, there had never been any question of fear. He shook his head in exasperation as Paul answered her in his head.

_The matter? What could possibly be the matter? He's about to give you the ride of your –_

_Can it, Paul!_ Embry's thoughts sounded almost as angry as Jake's and they came through simultaneously. Paul took a second and got his thoughts under control.

Bella, oblivious to all of this, had run a hand into the very shaggy fur at Jacob's neck, and looked contrite. "You don't have to, you know. It was just an idea." He shook his head again, and stubbornly ignored the voices in his head, lowering himself to the ground with a rumbling sigh and trying to gesture with his head that she should just climb on, already. He was starting to see that short of ordering them all to morph, he was not going to be able to enjoy this properly. He realized that by 'enjoy properly' he meant fantasize, and a chorus of snickering kicked up in his head at that thought. He strangled a growl before it could leave him, and stood up carefully.

"I didn't think about how I was going to hold on without pulling your hair," Bella commented, as she slid a little and had to grasp the hair at his neck to balance. He turned his head toward her, and rolled his eyes. She laughed. "You're right. The last time I tried to pull your hair, you didn't even notice. I guess I won't worry about it."

He barked a laugh. No, she didn't need to worry about hurting him by pulling his hair. It was he who was worried. If she couldn't stay on, this was going to be a short run, followed by another long trip to the emergency room. He started walking, slowly, getting used to the feel of having a person on his back and trying desperately not to consider what parts of her were currently pressed against his body. Trying not to consider something, however, was _thinking_ about it.

Paul, sufficiently cowed the last time, only snickered. Jared, however, couldn't seem to control himself. _It's good to know there's one part of a woman that runs at the same temperature we do._

Jacob sighed. _Is this how it's going to be all evening?_ he thought at them, annoyed. But Bella's hands weren't grasping at his fur anymore. She seemed to have gotten used to the walking, and was now running her fingers through the fur at his neck, and it felt amazing, just like it always had. He heard even Quil and Embry chuckling at him when he started practically purring. _God, this is SO embarrassing. Please go away._ Not a single wolf disappeared from his mental radar, though.

"Jake?" Bella asked, her voice cutting through the constant chatter in his head. He stopped walking and turned his head around as far as he could, trying to see her with both eyes, and failing. "Even if I fall off, it won't be the end of the world. I thought you'd want to run." If he could have raised an eyebrow he would have. Instead, he grinned, letting his tongue loll a bit, and making her laugh. He shrugged, which made her grasp at his fur again. Then he took off at an easy lope, trying not to jostle her too much. She pressed her knees a little more tightly against his sides. He was thankful wolves couldn't blush, but the hooting laughter in his head was inexcusable. They were all going to pay.

There was, briefly, silence after THAT thought slipped through. He let himself enjoy the moment, picking up speed as he dodged through the trees. He had to reign himself in when he felt her slide a bit. He learned very quickly how fast he could run with a rider, and it wasn't full speed by any means, but better than just trotting, at least. He accidentally ran under a low hanging branch, and would have panicked, but Bella just leaned forward, her chest pressing against his back, to avoid it. He nearly had a misstep at that point and tumbled them both through the underbrush. It would have been messy, but he caught himself just in time.

Snickers echoed in his thoughts again, and a ghost of a thought, from Embry, _the lowest branched trees are the willows down in the valley_, he suggested, amused.

_Finally, one of you proves helpful_, Jake thought, grinning as he ran, knowing Bella couldn't see it. He turned that direction instinctively before he stopped himself and turned back. Their laughter then was all he could stand. _That's it. All of you morph. Now._

"Are you lost?" Bella called to him in an amused tone of voice, noticing his changes in direction. He didn't dignify that with an answer. The silence in his head was almost instantaneous, and MOST welcome.

The wind through her hair was very enjoyable, and Bella was reminded at first of her earliest successes with the motorcycle. She let a sad smile cross her face as she was reminded, later, of other runs through the forest on a very different back. It was so similar, and yet nothing the same. This was all warmth and joy and life. That had been a colder kind of joy, but also life. She found that, although it made her sad to remember it, it didn't take away from her happiness now, with Jacob. She twined her fingers further up into the fur on his neck and felt his strange, contented humming again. Seated as she was, that made her blush, and she was grateful he couldn't see it.

Jacob made a wide circle and started back toward home. The more used to riding she became, the faster he was able to go. With no one in his head, he was free to imagine whatever he liked each time her knees squeezed against his sides. He wondered if he'd have a permanent blush on his face when he finally morphed back, and then gave a mental shrug. It hardly mattered. His skin was dark enough to hide it. He wasn't sure he'd be able to look her in the eye, though.

He slowed to a walk as they approached the tree line near his house, and finally stopped, just before the road became visible. He lowered himself back onto the ground, and Bella managed to get a foot on the ground without stepping on his too-long fur. She swung her other leg over and stumbled, catching herself before actually falling. The grin on her face made it worth the pack's taunting, and she laughed at her own clumsiness before sitting down in a heap and leaning back against his side, breathless. It reminded him a lot of the night before the vampire war, and he sighed, curving himself around her. She laughed at that, too.

"Jake, that was the most fun I've had in ages!" Bella turned her eyes to where he'd rested his head on his paws, and the expression in them made him stop breathing. He felt an odd tremor shiver through his body, and a line of the old legend came to him just then. _….the love he felt was too vast for the wolf's body – too human – and he burst forth into a man_…. Not something he wanted to do right then. He was on his feet in a heartbeat, and running for the woods.

Bella looked after him, blinking in surprise. He reappeared from the trees a few moments later, clothed, or as clothed as he ever was, and relieved that he'd made it out of sight in time. She stood as he approached. "What was that about?" she teased him.

"This," was his only reply, and then his arms were around her, and he was kissing her.

Bella surrendered to his kiss from the beginning, this time, and was lost in the urgency of it. She didn't understand what could have sparked it, but she felt him moan as her mouth opened under his, and couldn't contain an answering whimper, which only made him hold her tighter.

When he pulled away, it was too soon for Bella, and she kept her arms around him, staring up at him with very nearly the same expression she'd worn as they sat on the ground, with maybe a bit of wonder thrown in. He only put a hand to her cheek and held her gaze, serious, thoughtful, and silent. They both waited for their hearts to slow.

Bella wondered if now was the time to try and talk about what they were doing. She knew what it felt like they were doing, and it seemed silly not to talk about it after all the time they'd spent apart. But the words wouldn't come. Or maybe she just felt like all the answers were there, behind his dark eyes. She said nothing. Finally, a slow smile started to spread across his face, as if he'd determined she wasn't going to ruin the moment. "Still want to visit Sam and Emily?" he asked, loosening his arm from around her waist and taking her hand in his.

She smiled again, suddenly, and nodded. He led her back to the house and she chatted with Billy while he threw on a tee shirt and some jeans. When he came back into the kitchen, she swallowed nervously. She and Emily had become good friends, but seeing Sam and Emily together had always tugged at her heartstrings. Sometimes she could go weeks without any real Edward-related pain only to have them exchange one glance in her presence and bring tears to her eyes. But they were wonderful people, and she wasn't going to pass up the chance to see them. After all, she hadn't even stopped by to say hello over spring break.

*******

Her summer vacation took on a familiar, comforting pattern. She was at Jake's shop most every day. She'd insisted on buying them a cordless phone so that she could sit out where he was, on the floor, with the phone on one side of her and the appointment book on the other. After work, they'd run, or ride their bikes, or visit Emily, or hang out with Charlie or Billy. Charlie had thrown a fit when Bella explained to him that she was keeping the motorcycle, and she was _riding_ the motorcycle, and he was going to have to get over it. Jacob had been really impressed when Charlie had finally backed down. He'd insisted they BOTH take a riding course, and get actual licenses, but that had been the extent of his input from that point on.

Bella was good, too, about wearing the helmet and jacket Edward had given her. He searched her face, sometimes, as she suited up, looking for signs of distress. A momentary sadness was all he ever noticed, and it was usually gone by the time she was sitting on the bike. He wondered often if her thoughts of him had had such harmless outlets and Edward had just been oversensitive, or if it had been more. But he never commented. Edward was no longer a forbidden topic, but SOME things were best left unexplored.

For example, they never really talked about what this was, between them. She had come home for the summer as he'd asked, but the closer it came to September, the more often he caught himself wondering about what would happen next. She had to finish school, but he selfishly wished she could stay.

They were sitting with Charlie in the kitchen one evening early in August. She'd made lasagna again – two pans of it, he noticed, so that he could take some home to Billy - when Charlie asked the question that Jake hadn't yet mustered the courage to voice.

"So, when do classes start again, Bells?"

"September 6th," she'd replied without hesitation. "But I was thinking it might be fun to ride the bike to school this year. It'd be really handy having it on campus. It's a mile and a half walk to my first class every morning from the apartment. If I do that, I'll need to give myself a week to get there."

Charlie didn't even blink, but Jake's face held a momentary look of horror. She was leaving a week EARLY? She didn't look up in time to see it. "That's a long way to ride alone," Charlie commented evenly. He still didn't like the idea of her on the bike, but she was an adult now, and he recalled perfectly their last discussion on the topic.

"Well, I was thinking I might see if Jake wanted to go along," she admitted, turning to look at him innocently.

In the seconds between this statement and the moment when he was expected to reply, two things occurred to Jacob Black. Bella had just played Charlie like a cheap fiddle. And he REALLY wanted to take that trip.

"I suppose Quil could handle the shop for a couple of weeks if he had to..." He forced a worried expression onto his face, playing along. "I'll have to talk to him and get back to you."

Charlie looked mollified, at least, that she'd have company for the trip. Jake decided to make his get away before the overbearing father in him thought about sleeping arrangements. "Well, Billy will be wondering why I haven't turned up with the lasagna you promised," he said, standing. He had wanted another helping, but he was taking enough with him to get away with eating some of Billy's. He rinsed his plate.

Charlie stood, too, and his expression was still clear. Bella seemed to be fighting a grin, and Jake shot her a warning look. Her face blanked so quickly, he wondered if he'd imagined the previous expression. At some point in the last three years, she'd gotten WAY too good at this. What had happened to sweet, innocent little Bella Swan, who couldn't make anyone believe a lie to save her life? But the answer was easy. She was protecting not only the secrets of the local werewolf pack, but also those of the local vampire coven. She'd become a good liar because she HAD to be.

He kissed her goodbye, a little preoccupied, and thanked them both again for dinner. He wanted to stop and talk to Quil. If he had to get Bella to take him lasagna as a bribe every day for the next week, he was going to get Quil to agree to watch the shop.


	4. Chapter 4

If Bella had never hugged Jacob Black, she might have complained about the way Charlie was squeezing her. As it was, she endured his bear hug with good grace. "I want you to call me every night, as soon as you're off the road," Charlie was mumbling.

Bella pulled away. "Dad, I'm not going to do that. The first time I forget, you'll assume I'm dead in a ditch somewhere. I'll call you once from the road, and once when we get there," she negotiated calmly.

"Fine," he replied, knowing she was right, but not happy about it. He held her at arm's length. "And you've shipped your suitcase?"

"We took it to UPS this morning," she confirmed, smiling. "I even kept the tracking number." Charlie nodded.

"Well, I guess that's it then." He released her. "See you at Thanksgiving. You're flying back for that, right, I don't want you riding in the snow over such a long distance." He scowled.

"Yeah, Dad, I'm flying home for Thanksgiving. We'll be fine." She let him kiss her cheek, and then pulled on her black riding jacket and picked up her helmet.

Charlie turned to Jacob. "Don't set too fast a pace. You're sure you know what route you want to take?"

"I've got it covered," Jacob replied confidently. Bella had named him navigator, so he'd mapped out the trip precisely. He was still in shock that Charlie hadn't started asking where they were spending the first night. He hadn't asked either, but he already felt nervous about it, and they hadn't even left yet.

Bella had come into his shop, the morning after her unexpected invitation, in high spirits. That's when he'd discovered that not only had she managed to get Charlie to agree to let them take a six-day road trip alone, but she'd given him an arrival date a week before classes actually began. That's when the nervousness had set in.

He shook Charlie's hand, careful not to squeeze it too tightly by mistake, and went to pick up his own helmet. Bella hadn't just insisted on it, she'd bought one for him, purposely too small so he'd have to go try some on. He shoved the resulting purchase onto his head with only a little petulance, and heard her muffled laughter as she donned her own. They waved, then eased out of Charlie's driveway, not willing to upset him by picking up speed before they were out of sight of the house.

Saying goodbye to Billy was easier. Of course, his son would be back in three weeks, so that was understandable. Once they'd left La Push, it was straight to the highway, and then nothing but the rushing of the wind, and a vague feeling of _togetherness_ until nearly dark, with only a few short breaks for lunch and gas.

Bella followed Jacob when he pulled off the highway as the sun went down. They needed to make a little over four hundred miles a day, and they hadn't, quite, but he knew they had substantially more time than the six days he'd planned for. He pulled into the first hotel he came to, he wasn't picky, and started preparing himself for the argument they were going to have over who would pay for the room.

He felt a little sheepish as they walked up to the desk. This was new territory for him. He hesitated for just a moment when the woman behind the counter looked up at him. Bella stepped in. "Hi. We need a room for just tonight, please, with two beds. His will have to be big," she added, having noticed the raised eyebrows the young clerk had sent Jake's way.

Jacob watched them share a smile over that, and was astounded at how fast and easy it all was. Bella paid, and they were soon handed a key. No one had even bothered to ask if they were legal, consenting adults. He looked at Bella walking next to him, and for the first time in years, he felt _young_. Especially when he thought back on her request for two beds. He'd clearly been nervous over nothing. He tried to tell himself he was relieved.

Jacob carried their only bag, which had made the trip strapped securely to his back seat. He tossed it on the first bed, noting that they were both huge. That would be a nice change of pace. They'd brought two days worth of riding clothes each, two pair of pajamas for her, and a pair of cut off sweats for him. Bella was counting on being able to do laundry, but at least it would be unnecessary for tonight.

She excused herself and disappeared into the bathroom after digging out her pajamas. He hadn't seen them go in, but coming out, they looked like a flimsy tank top and a really thin pair of sweats. He set his jaw, and changed into his own sweats as soon as the door closed behind her, sure already that this was going to be almost as torturous as the last, and only night they'd ever spent together. At least there would be nobody analyzing his fantasies. Until he got back to La Push. He grimaced and turned on the TV, throwing himself down on the nearest bed to it, and stretching out. Now, THAT was enjoyable. His bed at home was ridiculously small.

Bella came out of the bathroom after a bit, and grinned at the sight of him. "Don't get used to that," she commented. "When we get to the apartment, you'll have to sleep on the floor."

A weak growl started in his chest, and he could see from her amused expression that she heard it before he stifled it. Human growls were clearly not as impressive as werewolf growls. He frowned at her instead. He figured it was better than ogling, and wondered if she was aware of just how thin her top was. He doubted it.

"What?" she asked, clearly still teasing. "You think I've got a bed like this? I've got a tiny twin, just like at Charlie's. If you LOOKED at it wrong, it would break." They shared a laugh over that.

Bella turned away, folding up the clothes she'd worn for riding so she could wear them again tomorrow, then folding his as well, into the same pile. He smiled and looked away. For some reason he hadn't admitted to himself yet, the sight of Bella doing anything domestic with his things, or at Billy's house, always made him smile.

"What're you watching?" she asked, having finished her bedtime ritual. He looked over at her again. She was still standing where she'd been. He wondered why she didn't prop herself up in bed and watch, if she wanted to know. It made him furrow his brow for a second, but he forced it smooth again.

"Dukes of Hazzard," he replied. "But you can change it if you want." He flipped the remote in her direction. She reached for it, but it thudded down onto the bed in front of her. He escaped into the bathroom to brush his teeth, wondering why everything was so awkward all of a sudden. All summer long, things had been so easy. He knew it was his own leftover nerves from expectations he should never have formed, and looked at his own eyes in the mirror longer than necessary, trying to talk some sense into himself without making any noise.

Bella giggled silently to herself as he fled to the bathroom. Then she mussed the bed he'd rejected, so it would look slept in, and tucked herself under the covers of the one he'd chosen. Boys could be so dense. She was shocked to find that the inane chatter of several of her fellow English majors, which she'd endured with so little patience, had turned out to be so useful. She continued to giggle right up until he turned the door handle, and regretted it, because it made it impossible to suppress her smile. She couldn't WAIT to see his face.

Jacob came out of the bathroom, having just talked himself out of his nervousness, to find her in his bed. It didn't take him too long to figure it out, but he must have looked really comical while his mind worked, because her shoulders were shaking. He wanted to scowl at her for laughing at him, but only managed a wry expression. She WAS in his bed, after all. "You think Charlie's going to check up?" he asked finally, gesturing to the mess she'd made of the empty bed.

"Did he ask YOU anything about our plans for the night?" she replied pointedly. Jake shook his head. "And he didn't say a word to me. You can BET he's going to check up. And he'll do it in uniform, so they'll tell him everything they can remember." Her eyes traveled the length of him just before he pulled back the covers and slid under, rolling to face her. "You're pretty memorable."

"Thanks," he said easily. Then he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her against him. She giggled again.

"Behave yourself, though, or tomorrow night I WILL sleep in the other bed," she threatened. But he knew that tone. That was not the tone that meant 'no'. He kissed her anyway, and she definitely didn't resist, but she did pull away long before he was finished. He might have tried again, if she hadn't snuggled down into his arms, turning her head so her cheek rested against his chest. She only stayed there a few moments, though, before she pulled back, an apologetic expression on her face. He let her go and watched, amused again, while she turned the thermostat down, then hesitated, and turned it down some more. He was laughing outright by the time she got back in bed.

He set the cheap alarm clock for six in the morning, meaning to make up some distance tomorrow, and then insinuated an arm under her head, so he could hold her against his side. He hadn't noticed in the sleeping bag all those years ago, through all those layers of clothes, that she molded against him the way she did now. He was sure he was never, ever going to be able to sleep like this. So he was shocked when the alarm woke him, and it seemed like no time had passed at all.

Annoyed, he smacked at it blindly, and then groaned when he heard it crunch. "Aw, Jake," Bella moaned from beside him, just stirring. "You didn't."

"Sorry." He grinned over at her, completely unrepentant. Then he leaned down and kissed her quickly.

The cross-country ride was a lot of fun, but Jacob was relieved when they finally pulled off on the exit that would take them to Dartmouth. He'd done a lot of thinking as they rode, and he'd come to one important conclusion. Before she graduated, he was going to make sure he had his own place, and a bed that could hold the both of them. His cramped bed at home was going to feel pathetically empty while she was gone. He hadn't come up with how he was actually going to get her to stay over, though, what with Charlie so nearby. Maybe he'd be able to work through that on the way home.

Her box was waiting for her outside her apartment, and he hefted it as she unlocked the door, depositing it again when they were inside, and lifting the suitcase out of it for her. Everything else she could get for herself. He'd been surprised at how little she brought back and forth, but as he looked around he realized that the place was full of things that must belong to her. She wasn't renting this apartment just during term. His next thought was that she wasn't the one who'd rented it at all.

Bella seemed to know what he was thinking. "He and I disagreed over whether he should spend money on me. Once he'd gotten me to accept that he was paying for Dartmouth, he paid all my tuition, and four years' rent up front, so we wouldn't fight about it every year," she explained, rolling her eyes.

Jacob nodded, but didn't comment. "We'd better call Charlie," Bella added after a moment, eyeing him thoughtfully.

When they'd both talked to their fathers, and Bella had finished reliving the entire trip for Renee's benefit, she grinned at Jacob and took his hand. "I've changed my mind," she said unexpectedly, and he felt a lurch in his chest before she could continue, "you shouldn't have to sleep on the floor." She grinned up at him, clearly not noticing the momentary fear in his face, and pulled him toward the door. "We'll move all the living room furniture into my room, and get rid of my bed. Then I'll get some dividers, and we'll turn the living room into a bedroom. That should give us enough space." It was a lot easier to find these sorts of things here, than in Forks.

Jacob watched with an indulgent expression while Bella picked out a mattress. She also chose a set of three oriental shoji screens that would match none of the furniture in her apartment, as far as he could tell. Still, she seemed to love them, so he said nothing.

Bella DID love them. And she loved the bed she'd chosen too. She was excited to be redecorating the apartment, even if it was only one room. Edward had furnished the place before she'd ever even seen it. At the time, she'd been thrilled with it. It looked like a place Edward could belong. Traditional. Old-fashioned. And anywhere he belonged was where she'd wanted to be.

After he'd left, though, she had caught her eyes sliding passed the furnishings so she wouldn't have to see them. And once the hurt had finally begun to fade, she'd stopped noticing them altogether. It would be nice to look around her apartment and see her own taste reflected for a change. It'd be nice to have SOME furniture she wanted to take home with her after graduation.

Bella arranged with the clerk to have her furniture delivered that afternoon, and they left the store empty-handed. Jacob followed her to a home store, where she chose sheets, pillows, and a bedspread. He couldn't imagine why she needed three sets of sheets, but again, he said nothing, offering his opinion when asked, but otherwise only observing. Mostly, he observed how happy she seemed. Dartmouth clearly suited her. He couldn't decide if that was good or bad. What if she didn't want to come back to Forks after graduation?

Bella felt her cheeks flush as she picked up the third set of sheets, but she didn't hesitate. While riding this morning, and most of yesterday, too, if she were honest with herself, her mind had been on this. Spending the night beside Jacob Black in a sleeping bag with an audience had been thoroughly embarrassing, and ridiculously awkward. Spending the night in a bed with him, alone, had been very comfortable, indeed.

She had noticed, though, that each night was LESS comfortable than the last. She thought of the feel of his smooth chest, hot under her fingers, and the way he'd turned his face away from her the first time she'd unthinkingly let her leg creep over his. She was sure he'd been hiding a blush. SHE had certainly been blushing. But neither of them had shifted.

She had admitted to herself years ago, and to him as well, that Jacob was sort of beautiful. He'd been just a boy, then, and she had been just a girl. Now, though, he'd grown into himself – physically and emotionally. He was a lot more than just beautiful to her. And she wasn't exactly a child anymore, either. The way he'd kissed her each night before they settled in to sleep told her that he was as aware of that as she was.

She was blushing again just thinking about it, but she snapped out of her thoughts long enough to arrange for their purchases to be delivered to her place, explaining about the motorcycles. It was at this point that it occurred to Jake to wonder just how expensive this store was. He couldn't help but scowl as she talked with the clerk. He wasn't going to so much as SIT on this bed, if it was being purchased by Edward Cullen.

Fortunately, his years of soul searching had taught him a little patience, and he managed not to word it quite that way. As they left the store, he simply asked in an undertone, "How are you paying for all this?" He must have kept the censure out of his voice because Bella's face was open as she answered.

"After he left, I got a job. Of course, I figured out eventually that I wasn't going to need it, but I kept it anyway. It was a place to be – something to occupy my mind. I never spent anything, though. I didn't feel much like going out, and I didn't need any clothes. By the end of freshman year, I'd saved up about a thousand dollars. One day I mentioned to Alice that I didn't know what to do with it, and she told me to invest it in this new little internet company that was just starting up. I'm not stupid. I invested all of it." She laughed. "Nothing like having a psychic for a financial advisor." She marveled at how easy it was to talk about the past, lately. Or maybe it was only easy to talk about it with Jake.

At this, Jacob smiled. That was infinitely better than accepting charity from Edward, in his opinion. "You and Alice are still close, then?" he asked. Alice was the only Cullen he didn't occasionally despise, and only because she'd been so eager to let the wolves in on the vampire war.

"Sure, sure," Bella replied, throwing him a grin as she caught herself using a phrase she thought of as his. "She comes to visit for a weekend here and there during the year. And when I'm home, I always try to stop by once or twice. She and Jasper and I had a nice visit last month. She said she'd be out to see me sometime in October."

"I didn't realize you'd been out to the Cullen place this summer," Jake said, trying to keep his voice casual. He regretted the words almost as soon as he'd spoken them. They reached the bikes, and he stood, awkward, beside his.

Bella looked at him oddly for a moment, and then leaned against the seat of her bike. She hadn't heard that tone of voice from him for a long time, and she'd almost forgotten how jealous he could be. "Well, I always call before I go, to make sure Edward isn't visiting," she answered finally, watching his face. "Alice is my friend, Jake. I didn't go there looking for him."

"I know," he answered, relieved in spite of himself. He knew they'd agreed to take what time they had together and be satisfied, but the idea of her running into Edward out at the Cullen house didn't appeal to him in the least.

They rode back, and walked upstairs to the apartment in silence. Bella couldn't help but feel like that conversation had gone horribly wrong somehow. Jacob walked toward the living room as she closed the door behind them, and she watched him, worried.

"Jake?"

"Hmm?" He didn't turn. He seemed to be looking over the furniture, maybe trying to decide where they should start.

"Are you angry with me?" She was looking at the floor when he turned toward her. He crossed the room quickly.

"No." When she didn't look up, he put a hand to her cheek and forced her eyes to his. "What is it?"

"I know we're both taking on the same risks," she said, her voice falling to a whisper, "and you're right – it's worth it - but that doesn't mean that, whichever way this goes, it isn't going to hurt like hell when it's over." The possibility that she might hurt Jacob again was already hurting her.

Jake pulled her into a gentle hug, his hand at the side of her head to hold her cheek against his chest. His breathing was uneven, and he worked on calming it. He didn't have any response to that, but somehow it helped, knowing she didn't want things to end any more than he did. He was surprised she wasn't crying. The Bella he remembered was quick to tears during conversations like this. But he reminded himself that she'd grown up a lot in his absence. He lowered his cheek to rest on top of her head.

His mind skipped ahead, trying to think of ways to prevent the situations they'd already agreed were inevitable. He could build her a house in La Push – without a telephone – and then they'd never leave it. He'd never be able to meet any new people for fear of imprinting. She'd never be free to leave the reservation for fear of running into Edward. None of it was feasible. Except maybe the house in La Push.

They stood that way for a long time. Bella didn't let herself cry. There would be time enough for that, and tears enough, when it happened. She had thought there would be more to say, but he was silent, and she realized after a while that it was because there really wasn't anything to add. She let herself relax into the heat of his embrace, reassured, though he'd not had any reassurance to offer.

"It's worth it," he affirmed finally, whispering into her hair. "Even if it's hell every second we're apart, this is worth it."

Bella squeezed him tighter, then pulled away, smiling. She might have responded, but the doorbell rang, and it was suddenly time to work. Their deliveries arrived within an hour of each other.

"Do you have anywhere to store this bed?" Jake asked, carrying the twin mattress out into the hallway. She might want to replace her bed at Charlie's house with it at some point, after all. It had to be newer.

"We can lean it in the hallway across from the bathroom for now," she responded. The delivery guy had taken one look at Jacob and decided just to wait outside while he moved the current furniture. Clearly he didn't need any help.

They had her old bedroom clear of furniture, and everything from the living room moved in to take its place in under twenty minutes. Jake helped the delivery driver bring up the new bed, and stood with his arm around Bella, watching him put the frame together. "We're making good time," he commented.

"You say 'we' as if I've been any help at all," she joked. Somehow their easy banter had returned without any effort from either of them. He laughed.

"You carried that potted plant," he reminded her. She rolled her eyes.

When everything was in place, and both delivery trucks had gone, Bella made the bed up with the least expensive sheets she'd purchased. She didn't feel as self -conscious as she'd expected as she put the other two packages, unopened, into the hall closet. She had once attempted to seduce a vampire and failed miserably. He'd just been too constrained for _her_ own good, and she'd been too innocent. She'd expected a healthy dose of fear at the thought of seducing a werewolf, but felt none.

She smiled at Jacob across the bed, amazed that she could even think of it without the familiar pain in her chest. "Do you like Chinese food?" she asked.


	5. Chapter 5

AN: This is the reason for the mature rating. Not essential to the plot, so you can skip this chapter and not miss anything. -Daintress

* * *

They ordered-in Chinese, after Bella spent considerable effort convincing Jacob that it would be far better than anything he'd tried in Forks or Port Angeles. He was pleased to discover she was right, and they sat on either side of the shiny mahogany table in her little kitchen, sharing their meals and laughing. It occurred to both of them, at one point or another, that this was how it was supposed to be - this was the camaraderie that had made it so easy to fall in love that they almost hadn't noticed it was happening.

Bella gave up on finishing her food and shoved it toward Jake, who'd been eyeing it covetously. "Thanks," he replied, making her laugh as he immediately dug in.

"I knew you'd like it. College towns always have better take out places."

Jacob nodded, mouth full, and spared a thought for what life might have been like for him if he hadn't turned out to be a werewolf. His grades had been good. He'd never had to work very hard at it. Probably the elders would have insisted he go to college. And he'd have definitely tried to get in here, since this is where Bella was. Would they be spending the whole school year together, dating like normal college kids? He pushed the thoughts aside as soon as the word 'normal' registered in his brain. There was no normal. There never could be again. But that was alright, as long as there was Bella. He grinned at her when he'd finished the last of the food. She was clearing up the various rice containers and plastic utensils.

"Next time we'll order something extra," she promised, and they both laughed again. It wasn't late, but between a six-day road trip and shopping most of the afternoon, they were both a little tired. Jacob disappeared into the bathroom, squeezing passed the mattresses that were leaning opposite the door.

Bella finished clearing up, and then went back into what used to be her living room. She'd used the shoji screens to block the new bed from the view of the apartment door, so she now had to turn left and then right again to get passed them, as if she'd made another hallway. Her dresser and mirror were against the wall at the foot of the bed, and her nightstand had been placed on one side of it. The headboard and foot board matched her screens well, but her dresser and nightstand didn't. She determined to replace them as soon as possible. Alice would surely enjoy a shopping trip during the weekend she was in town.

When she heard him start the shower, she waited a few minutes and then knocked on the door. "Jake, can I sneak in and get your clothes? I'm starting the laundry," she called. He sounded amused when he agreed. She retrieved them quickly, tossing his cut off sweats across the toilet lid. She'd found them in the bag, forgotten, but they'd been washed on the last morning of their trip, so they were clean. She made sure to close the door behind her with a quiet click, so he'd know she was gone. She grinned. Then he could go back to singing in the shower, or whatever he did.

She changed into her pajamas, and then puttered around the laundry room. She generally spent as little time as possible in here, and most of it was spent trying to resist the urge to open the door on the other side of the room. The laundry room was shared between the two second floor apartments in her little building. In three years, she'd never opened that door. Today, she didn't even glance at it.

Warm arms wrapped around her as she finished adding the fabric softener and closed the washer and an instant later, burning lips were brushing her earlobe.

Bella grinned as a shiver ran down her spine. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Just saying thank you. You ARE washing my clothes."

She turned in his arms, and he was smiling down at her – her smile, the one that could warm her even if he stood ten feet away. She blinked in surprise as his hands grasped her waist and he lifted her onto the machine.

Jacob stood between her knees and pulled her as close to him as possible. Perched on the washer, she was his height. He liked it. Bella did, too. She leaned forward and kissed him gently. He let his hands fall to her hips.

There wasn't anything he could think of that he liked better than this. Her lips, just slightly cool against his forever-fevered mouth, parted easily. Gone were the days of trying to coax her, trying to convince her that she wanted him. Her kisses were distracting enough that he forgot to be embarrassed about standing between her legs until, unexpectedly, her kiss became more urgent, and she wrapped them around his waist.

His hands tightened on her hips. They broke apart an instant later, both panting slightly.

She rested her forehead against his for a moment before sliding her hands to the back of his neck, playing in his hair. She'd noticed, during the course of the summer, that he really liked that for some reason. She was only at it a second before he was kissing her again with the same heat as before. Finally, as they broke to catch their breaths a second time, she whispered against his lips.

"Take me to bed, Jacob."

He'd been about to kiss her again, but at this he leaned backward instead, trapped by her legs, but wanting to be able to focus on her face to see if she meant what he thought she did. "Are you sure?" He felt his hands twitch, and imagined she must have, too, but she didn't smile. She ducked her head a little and looked up at him through her lashes. That was good enough for him.

He captured her lips again quickly, wrapping his arms around her and lifting her from the washer. He sidestepped the mattresses leaning in the hallway with his eyes closed, but had to break the kiss as he tried to remember where she'd put those stupid screens.

He lowered her onto the bed gently, which was easy. She hardly weighed anything at all. He was breathing hard and he figured it was more nerves than anything. He'd wanted this so long. He didn't get much time to think about it as Bella lifted her head from the pillow to kiss him again. It seemed to go on forever, but maybe he was just impatient.

When he ducked his head, his breath coming in shallow gasps, he couldn't help but grin. He looked up at her again.

Bella cocked her head to the side, and he explained. "I wonder if you realize how thin this material is," he mused, letting a finger trail down the front of the tank top she'd been wearing to bed most nights. Then that wicked smirk appeared on her face again – not an expression he recalled from their high school days – and it occurred to him that she HAD realized it. Probably from the beginning.

Slowly, keeping his eyes on hers as long as he could, he leaned down and brushed his lips over her nipple. He heard her gasp before he could even raise his head. "You've been driving me crazy," he admitted.

Bella smiled. "At least I wear clothes." She ran her hands over the planes of his burning chest, brushing her fingers down his stomach until she couldn't reach anymore.

"Does my being half-naked bother you?" he asked insolently, echoing an old conversation. They both grinned.

"You have no idea." This came out in a whisper and they stared into each other's eyes for a moment, before Jacob sat back on his legs. He was nervous again, suddenly. Bella sat up, too, and took his hands in hers. "Maybe if we evened up the playing field…" she suggested. Then, when he neither moved nor answered, she lifted her tank top over her head and tossed it over the side of the bed.

Jacob felt his mouth fall open and closed it, swallowing hard. His hands seemed to move on their own, and he glanced at her face to make sure it was alright.

Bella pulled in a long, slow breath as his hot hand explored her breasts. He moved so slowly, like he was afraid to startle her. Like he'd forgotten who was seducing whom, which was good. His hesitation seemed proof enough to her that he'd never done this before, and she tried not to think of it as stealing his virtue. After all, she was offering hers in return.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered, his hand traveling up to caress her neck, then her cheek. And then he was kissing her again, pressing her back into the bed. The kiss was different. Still heated, but _reverent_, somehow. Slower. More intense.

Jacob didn't hold himself away from her anymore, though he knew he couldn't put his full weight on her. He let his chest tease against her breasts, and loved it. It felt right, as he kissed her, to be this close. He wanted to be closer. He trailed his lips down her neck, over her collarbone, to her breasts, this time with no fabric to impede him. Bella arched into his mouth when he began placing open-mouthed kisses across her chest.

Years of running with the pack had prepared him for this in a way nothing else could have. Access to the thoughts of eight other men, one happily married, and two imprinted with adult women and engaged to be married, had given him a very good idea of what he wanted. And he suspected he had a very good idea what Bella wanted, too, thankfully. His nervousness vanished. Instead, he started paying attention to which caresses made her gasp, or drew a whimper.

Bella endured this as long as she could. With every shift of her body she could feel the damp heat in her panties and between that and his lips on her breasts, she was close to going nuts by the time she whispered his name.

Jacob raised his head. "Please," she whispered, her breathing shallow. He felt her fingers at the waistband of his shorts.

"Not yet. There's something I want to do." He hesitated, sure of what he wanted but not sure how to ask. Then a thought popped into his head and he almost grimaced. It was a cheesy line. It was a cheesy, _stolen_ line, and Sam would never let him live it down, but if it worked.…

She was looking at him curiously, still breathing in gasps through her open lips. She was beautiful. He lowered his head to whisper in her ear, hiding the faint blush he could feel in his cheeks. "The scent of your desire is incredible," he said, his lips grazing her ear. "I want to taste you."

He felt her stiffen beneath him, and it occurred to him for the first time what that might remind her of. Damned Edward and his desire for her blood. He rested his cheek against hers, waiting.

"I didn't think men liked – "

"Some men do. I suspect I'm one of them," he cut her off, still whispering, glad he hadn't ruined things. He lifted his head to look in her eyes. "Please."

The intensity in Jacob's stare had her nodding. Whatever he wanted was fine with her, she didn't have any idea what was supposed to come next anyway. Then he was kissing her again, her lips, her neck, her chest. And then lower, his hair tickling across her stomach. She shivered as he peeled away her pajama bottoms and panties. There was a moment of self-consciousness as he looked at her. She'd never been naked in the presence of anyone but Alice, and that had been only by necessity as she recuperated from James' attack.

She wondered if he was disappointed. It seemed like he stared for a long time, though she was sure it was only a few seconds. And then his hands were running over her hips, caressing her stomach, and finally, coaxing her legs further apart. She held her breath, nervous.

Jacob inhaled with a sense of anticipation so strong it overwhelmed even his own desire for her, for a moment. The sharing of memories like this was rare, but sometimes a man could think of nothing else. Ever since Sam had slipped up, years ago now, this had been part of Jacob's fantasies.

At the first touch of his lips, Bella lost the breath she'd been holding, and at the second she moaned low in her throat. And then the world narrowed and all she could feel was the heat of his mouth, moving against her. Jacob glanced up to see her hands fisting in her pillow, and every sound she made seemed to send a shock through him. He wasn't sure how long he could keep this up before his own need overwhelmed him.

Bella had no conscious control over her body. She could feel herself positively writhing but that only lasted a moment before Jacob's large hands were at her hips, holding her in place easily. If she'd had the ability to think of anything at all besides his lips and what they were doing, she would have been embarrassed. She felt his grip slacken, and realized he was about to withdraw.

"Please don't stop," she moaned. Then she was mortified for asking, for just an instant, before he continued.

Jacob looked up at her again as her eyes fell shut once more, and knew what he wanted. He wanted to hear her say his name in that voice. She was too close for him to stop now. And she really did taste incredible.

It was only moments later when Bella threw back her head, her body tensing beneath his hands and mouth, and he got his wish. "Oh! Oh God, Jake," she moaned, shuddering. He grinned, then dragged his lips from her, wiping his mouth on the sheet while her eyes were still closed. He crawled over her, instantly aware, again, of his own situation. He wanted her. Bad.

She was still shivering beneath him, though she couldn't possibly be cold. He felt a bit smug. He didn't think he'd done too badly for a first try. She seemed to agree. "Jake, that was amazing," she gasped, her breathing just beginning to slow.

Bella stared up at him in shock. She had never imagined anything could feel like that. He looked really pleased with himself, and she tried to smile at him through open lips, still panting slightly. He was grinning at her unashamedly. She let go her pillow and put her hands to his chest again, surprised when she could feel his heart hammering beneath it. He was clearly still excited.

Then her grin faded into seriousness, and she ran her hands down toward his shorts. He was suddenly serious again as well, as she lowered them slowly. She couldn't really see what she was doing, and she couldn't really reach. Frustrated, she got them over his hips with her hands, and then used a foot to push them the rest of the way down. Jacob chuckled, and she smiled at him again.

When he lowered his lips to hers this time, he was gentle. She felt him settle between her legs and his whole frame trembled for just an instant. The urgency of a few moments ago had been replaced by a tenderness that tugged at her heart. But without the heat of the moment, she felt a stab of fear. This was the part that was going to hurt.

Jacob felt her tense, and broke their kiss. He watched her swallow hard. "Are you okay?" he asked, trying to keep his impatience out of his voice.

Bella looked at him worriedly. "I just wondered if I could see …"

"See what?"

"You," she answered, shy again. Jacob narrowed his eyes, trying to understand. "I'm a little nervous," she admitted. Then, her honesty getting the better of her, she added, "This is going to hurt." She blushed bright pink, and looked away.

Jacob felt a tongue of fire leap down his back at her words. If Edward Cullen had taught her that sex was painful, he was going to hunt him down and _teach_ him pain. For just a few seconds, his arms shook with his anger and Bella stared at him, wide-eyed and suddenly afraid. All summer long she'd never seen him lose control enough to shake.

"What did I say?" asked raising her hands to his face, her eyes imploring.

"If he hurt you –" Jake growled, and then he stopped. Threatening former lovers was not a good way to make this work.

It took a second for Bella to understand. "OH! No, it wasn't like that. We never –" then she broke off, and trailed her hands down his arms. They were steady again. She looked away. "I'd just heard that it hurt the first time," she admitted in a small voice, embarrassed again.

Jacob hung his head. After a second, he whispered, "I'm an idiot."

Bella smiled up at him. "Sometimes. But I love you anyway." That made him smile again, but also restored his interest in their previous activity. He shifted his weight a little, and his eyes fell closed.

"Tell me what you want me to do," he said finally.

Bella pushed against his chest, and he rolled away, disappointed. He cursed himself for a fool for ever mentioning –

His thoughts cut off abruptly as he noticed Bella. She'd rolled onto her side, and her eyes were cast down. All he could see was the top of her head, and the tip of her nose. Her fingers were traveling slowly down over his stomach. He felt the muscles there clench of their own accord.

She met his eyes briefly and he nodded at her, then closed his eyes and lay his head back as her fingers brushed against him tentatively. He stifled a groan and decided this was torture. She was finished, though, before he gave in and started begging. He opened his eyes when her fingers fell away, and she was staring at his face. "Did I hurt you?"

He grinned sheepishly, realizing he'd probably looked like he was in agony as he waited. God, he wanted her so bad. "No," he whispered laughingly. He reached his hands up into her hair, and pulled her face down to his, and this kiss was different, too. He couldn't quite restrain the desperation. She seemed to understand.

He rolled them over, and felt his body settle against her again, like it already knew the way. But when he began to enter her, she tensed again. He pulled his lips from hers. "Alright?" he asked again, dreading the answer.

She smiled and nodded, but he could tell she was preparing. He hung his head beside hers, their cheeks touching, and let his hips snap forward slightly. She whimpered, and he closed his eyes. It was so tight, and as Jared had once pointed out, it felt hot even to him. The only part of her that did. He held his breath and tried to stay still, though everything in him wanted to be moving inside her. She was gasping softly against his ear, and he was going to be mortified if she was crying. He raised his head to see. "Sorry," he whispered.

" 'S okay," she said, trying to regulate her breathing. Her eyes glistened.

"Love you," he said quietly, not sure why the words came to him just then. She smiled, and he felt her tighten around him. He instinctively pulled away just slightly and pushed forward again, slowly. Far more slowly than he'd like. He didn't want to hurt her, but he _needed_ this.

She grimaced at his movement. "Love you," she agreed anyway. He stayed where he was, aware only of the pulsing desire that seemed to burn through his veins. Different from morphing in some fundamental way, but still a familiar feeling.

Bella gazed up at his pained expression and decided she wanted this for him more than she wanted it not to hurt anymore. "Jake," she whispered, smiling. "It's okay to move." He let out the breath he hadn't realized he was holding in a shuddering moan, and he _moved_. And it was amazing.

Bella grasped his arms securely and his muscles flexed under her fingers. She concentrated on the noises he made, and the feel of his chest, pressed against hers. And in spite of the pain, it WAS amazing. When his pace shifted, started to get wild, she studied his expression. His eyes fell closed, and his mouth opened in a long oval. He shuddered above her and a groan welled up from his chest. She couldn't quite explain why her eyes teared up again at the sight. Then he collapsed, half on top of her, and the air whooshed out of her lungs.

"CAN'T – BREATH," she gasped, and he shifted.

"Sorry," he whispered, landing beside her heavily. She turned and pressed herself against him, letting her leg creep over his. She felt his arm shift up and under her pillow, and he held her even closer. "Wow," was all he said. After, sleep found them both quickly.


	6. Chapter 6

Bella woke and was immediately aware of two things. Firstly, she was WAY too warm. She'd forgotten to turn the AC down before bed last night. It was SO warm, it was hard to breathe. Secondly, there was no way she was getting on a motorcycle today. She grimaced when she tried moving her legs. Jacob stirred.

"Jake, I have to get up," she whispered. She wasn't surprised when he dragged his arm from around her waist but was otherwise completely unresponsive. She laughed at him silently while she rolled away. Unless you startled him first thing in the morning, he usually got off to a groggy start.

She took a quick shower, and put on a pair of sweats and a tee-shirt. Then she stuck her head into the fridge and realized that while they were out yesterday, they should have been getting groceries. It was empty. In fact, it wasn't even set cold enough to be ready for food. She changed the temperature setting and sighed, trying to recall if there was anywhere that served breakfast within walking distance. If the student union was open, they'd have muffins. She recalled Jacob eating ten hot dogs in the course of a two- hour bonfire and somehow didn't think muffins were going to cut it.

When she seated herself on the bed beside him, he finally woke. "Morning." His voice was deep with sleepiness, and something else. She grinned at him sheepishly.

"Morning. How do you feel about a three mile walk into town to get groceries you'll mostly have to carry back yourself?" she asked.

Jacob blinked up at her, then pulled her down to lay beside him. "THAT'S all you have to say?" he demanded in mock consternation. Then they both broke out laughing, and he held her tightly against his chest.

Soon enough, though, his stomach was growling, and she persuaded him to get out of bed. They left the apartment for groceries, but found a diner on the way that hadn't been in business last term. Jake insisted on buying breakfast. By the time they got back, Jacob carrying most of the bags and still feeling like he'd walked too slowly for her sake, it was nearly noon. They put the groceries away, and Bella suggested going up to the campus.

"I should see if my book list is in my mailbox yet. The bookstore should be open."

"Sure," he shrugged, picking up his helmet from where it had been sitting on the kitchen counter bedside hers.

"Erm, I don't want to ride. Let's walk."

"Alright," he agreed easily, putting it back down, but glancing at her oddly. He didn't ask, and she supposed that maybe he didn't need to. She HAD worn sweatpants into town, after all. It couldn't be much more obvious than that.

Her book list was waiting for her, along with some junk mail, and several sorority flyers, all of which she tossed into the trash without reading. As she stood beside the trash can, sorting, someone called her name from down the hall.

Approaching was a brown haired, blue eyed young man, and he was grinning from ear to ear. Jacob locked his jaw and put his arm around her waist. He took one look at the guy and thought, _This is going to be Mike Newton all over again._ Bella grinned up at him, fairly certain what he was thinking.

"Eli?" she asked, as the man trotted over.

"You always sound so hopeful when you say my name," he replied, smirking. He looked from Jacob's face back to Bella and shook his head. "Levi's going to be so pissed off."

"Jacob Black, meet Elijah Anderson – one of a pair, and by far the less annoying of the two," Bella said by way of reply, sounding relieved.

"Eli will do fine," he said, offering his hand to Jacob, who shook it carefully. He'd save the vice-like grip for the guy's brother. He even managed to keep his face passive as Eli added, "Are you headed for the bookstore?"

They walked together, and Bella forced Jacob's arm from around her, holding his hand instead. When he frowned at her for it, she only grinned up at him.

"So, what are you doing back so early?" Eli was asking.

"Jake and I rode here on the bikes. I wanted to have some transportation around campus for once."

"Right," was the reply. His voice was skeptical.

Bella cast about for something else to talk about. "So, when's Amanda going to show up?"

"Saturday with everyone else, I suppose. _Her_ dad wasn't too keen when she brought up the possibility of coming to campus early. Apparently he's afraid we'd use the time for some uninterrupted shagging." He watched triumphantly as Bella turned red and Jacob nearly choked.

"Shut up, Eli. _Shagging?_" Bella managed to scoff convincingly. "Who even _says_ that?" Eli was way too observant for his own good. But he knew when to shut up. That's why even though it sounded like his voice answered her, she was fairly certain it wasn't him. She cringed.

"I say it all the time," Levi argued, coming up behind them.

"You would," Bella returned sourly before turning to greet him. She was thankful that Jake's presence beside her seemed to head off the hug Levi usually attempted. "Jacob, this is Eli's brother, Levi." She tried to conceal her mirth as they shook hands and Levi winced. "Eli's an English major, like me. Levi's studying Economics. I'm trying to finish a minor in business without staying an extra semester, so when one of them isn't in my class, the other one usually is."

Eli broke into the conversation as his brother tried to discreetly massage his hand. "What are you studying, Jacob?"

"I'm not. I'm just here because Bella's dad didn't want her riding all the way from Washington to New Hampshire alone on a motorcycle." He smirked a little, but Bella thought she recognized in his expression just a bit of the bitterness she remembered from the days following his first transformation. She squeezed his fingers, and shot him a questioning glance. He shook his head.

"Right," Levi replied, his tone exactly as skeptical as his brother's had been a moment before, but twice as petulant.

Jacob found himself annoyed. His little daydream of what life on campus with her would have been like came back to him, full force, when Eli asked about his major. An impossible dream. Werewolves didn't go away to college. For the first time, he wondered if Bella could possibly want to date someone who'd skipped his last two years of high school, scraped a GED and worked on cars for a living.

Bella and Elijah discussed class schedules, and found their books. Jacob ended up carrying Bella's for fear she'd drop them all, but added little to the conversation.

"What do we need for Crit?" Bella was asking, looking through the books in Jacob's arms, and back at the shelf.

Eli rattled off a list of four more titles, and she selected the first three from the shelf. "Did you keep your Shakespeare?" she asked. He nodded, laughing, and neither of them picked up the last title.

Bella turned to Jake. "Eli and I had Shakespeare together first semester Freshman year. It was – entertaining." She thought back to what a catastrophe that had nearly been. Especially when the professor had assigned partners for the acting portions, and she'd ended up playing Hermia to Eli's Lysander. It had been a tense month.

"Yeah, I sat beside her, and on her other side was this amazing, inhumanly handsome guy who was totally –"

Jacob was suddenly paying attention, but Bella cut across Eli's description. "No one wants to hear about your man-crush on Edward, Eli, least of all me." She grimaced.

"Right," he agreed, grinning as though it hadn't occurred to him that the topic might be difficult for anyone. "Anyway, I tried talking to her, since we had assignments we were supposed to work on together, but I swear he about growled at me every time."

"Cullen didn't like you?" Jacob asked sarcastically. "I can't imagine why."

"Can't you?" Bella asked, amused.

"Anyway," Eli began again. "Once HE failed out, I figured maybe I'd get a chance. She was always beating me on tests, and mostly I just wanted her for her notes." He grinned.

"But studying with me hasn't helped him much," Bella interjected smugly as they walked toward the register. "I still beat him on every test."

Levi arrived behind them in line. "It sure helped ME out when they started studying together, though," he observed casually.

Eli and Bella both grimaced, and it was Bella who explained. "A few weeks after Edward left, I realized I hadn't taken any decent notes, and I had no idea when the next paper was due. I saw Levi at lunch one day and thought I recognized him from Shakespeare. So, I asked him if he'd tell me, and Levi…"

Eli broke in, "- being Levi - said he had it written down, and maybe they could get together that evening. He THOUGHT I was going to just hand him all my notes and let him pretend to be me so HE could spend the night with the pretty girl." He paused, and glanced at Bella with the first worried expression he'd bothered with through the whole conversation. Jake glanced at her too, but she didn't look upset by the topic yet. "I'd noticed she was pretty messed up after Edward left, though, so I told him to can it, and gave her my notes myself, without the come-ons."

"Which is why Eli is my friend, and Levi has to stand behind us in line," Bella finished lightly. Levi stuck his tongue out at her, but she'd only glanced back at him for a second before grinning up at Jake. Her smile faltered quickly, though, as she noticed the carefully peaceful expression on his face.

When she'd paid for the books, and parted with her friends, promising to get together with Eli and Amanda for their usual Thursday night study sessions once classes began, she and Jacob walked slowly around campus. Her intention had been to tell him which buildings she had classes in, but he seemed preoccupied, so she fell silent, just enjoying the heat of his hand in hers.

She turned their feet back toward the apartment when she realized he didn't seem interested. He didn't look up. His eyes had been on the ground right in front of his feet almost since they'd left the bookstore. Finally, halfway back, she asked him what was wrong. She couldn't believe he'd been this upset just by Elijah and Levi. Granted, Levi was annoying, but he'd mostly behaved himself with Jacob standing right there.

Jacob kicked at a stone on the sidewalk before he answered. "I was planning to go to school. You know, before the pack. I don't guess I'll ever be able to leave Forks, now." He didn't add his fears that SHE might leave Forks. That any one of these guys would be able to give her a better life than he could. He realized abruptly that he'd rather lose her to Edward than to Levi Anderson. At least Edward had really loved her, vampire or no. Levi struck him as rather underhanded and childish, and he clearly was only after one thing.

"I didn't realize you were thinking about going to college."

"Well, there wasn't much point in talking about it after that first transformation. At least I was younger, and hadn't already paid a semester's tuition like Sam."

Bella didn't know what to say. There were still some things she didn't know about Jacob Black, clearly. She felt bad that the trip to campus had reminded him of something he'd lost when he'd joined the pack. She walked a little closer, and dropped his hand, putting her arm around him instead. He returned the favor.

"I'm sorry you can't go away to school like you'd planned. But it wouldn't be much fun for me in Forks for the next four years if you did." He flashed her a smile at that, but his eyes focused back on the ground quickly. "Jake, if you really want to there's always Peninsula. It's close enough that you could be back if there was an emergency."

"It isn't just that."

When he didn't continue, Bella stopped walking, and he stopped with her. Not wanting to be prodded, he scowled at the ground. "You're going to Dartmouth, Bella, and your dating the mechanic from your home town who never even finished high school."

For a second, this statement shocked Bella silent. "No," she disagreed finally, her voice slightly cold with disbelief. Her arm fell away from his waist, and she turned to face him. "I'm dating Jacob Black, who happens to be one of the finest people I know, though he clearly isn't aware how impressed I've always been with what he can do with some bits of metal, an obsessive work ethic, and a lot of grease. Jake, I'm almost insulted that you think I care about any of that."

"Maybe _I_ care about it."

"Maybe? You should decide. If you're going to leave me for my own good, I want to know right now." Bella's expression was downright black when he looked up at her in alarm.

"What? No! That wasn't what I was saying. I just mean – you could do better, you know?" Jacob finally held her gaze, so Bella was able to notice the misery in his eyes as he said this. She felt her anger drain away, and sighed.

"Jacob, could you please let me worry about what's best for me? I'm really not able to tolerate other people telling me what I want, anymore. Not even you." This was true. After Edward had gone, and she'd had some time to heal, it had occurred to her that many of the most awful things that had happened between them had been a direct result of Edward trying to 'do what was best' for her.

Jake was still staring into her eyes, a shell-shocked expression on his face. She realized she may have been a little harsh, so she took a step closer to him, and took his free hand in hers. "I want to be with you, Jake, for whatever time we've got. I don't need you. I don't need anyone. But I'm choosing to be with you anyway. Isn't that worth something?"

Jacob looked down at her and felt his heart expand for just an instant. He carefully put away his college life daydream, vowing silently that he'd never think about it again. He wanted to tell her that he was sorry for wallowing in self pity and for being arrogant enough to think he knew what was best for her, and that her choosing to be with him meant _everything_. But he couldn't seem to talk around the lump in his throat, so he settled for putting her books on the ground and wrapping his arms around her. He kissed the top of her head as she held him, and let himself be comforted.

After a few moments, she released him. "Thanks," he said quietly, picking up the bag again.

Bella studied his face, and decided he looked like he was over it. "For what? Telling you off?" she said, smiling up at him as he took her hand in his and started walking.

"Everybody needs a good telling off now and then," Jacob replied lightly. Bella looked at him sideways and watched as his lips turned up at the corners just a bit.

She wanted to tell him she loved him. That it didn't matter whether he went to school, or spent the rest of his life fixing cars. But it didn't seem necessary. She just smiled back at him, and they walked a while in silence.

Finally, Jacob seemed to be back to himself. "So, what's a Dartmouth graduate going to do in Forks, anyway?" he asked, clearly trying to make up for his previous reticence. They were nearly to the apartment, now, and being off campus made him feel a little better.

"I was actually thinking I might open a bookstore, since Forks doesn't have one. That's why I wanted the minor in business. The library there is awful, and there isn't even anything decent in Port Angeles. If you want something to read, you literally have to go to Seattle." Bella had given this a lot of thought. She'd even looked into the franchise agreements for several major bookstores, to see if that would be worthwhile. In the end, she'd decided to open an independent store, though, and she'd already talked to some business major friends of Levi's to see how they would go about it. She had a pretty good idea what she wanted to do when she graduated.

"Where will you put it?" Jacob asked, pleased. If she owned a shop in town, she'd be around a while. He felt better still. He also had the perfect place in mind, and couldn't wait to tell her about it.

"Well, I was planning to look around for rental properties while I was home this summer, but I got distracted." She laughed, and he joined her, feeling more himself as they climbed the stairs to her apartment.

"The building next to the shop is empty, and I'll bet I could get you a good deal on it," he said, with just a hint of smugness in his tone.

Bella looked at him questioningly as he put the bags from the campus bookstore onto the kitchen table. "It used to be a tire store – owned by the same guy we're renting the shop from. It was a package deal," he admitted, grinning. "Rent them both, or neither one. We needed the shop."

And suddenly, several things fell into place for him. The shop, her bookstore, and, perhaps what had put a grin back on his face, the apartment OVER the prospective bookstore. He and Quil had completely ignored that other building after the owner had walked them through it, but he was fairly certain he could get a king sized bed into that apartment. These thoughts, however, he didn't mention. There was no guarantee she'd want to move in with him after she graduated. But, just in case she did, he figured he'd better be ready.

Bella was staring at him. He shrugged. "Quil and I can have it cleaned for you by the time you're ready, since you did all our cleaning for us."

"Jake that's – it's perfect! We can split the rent, and –"

She stopped and narrowed her eyes at him when he shook his head. "Quil and I aren't having any trouble with the rent."

"But splitting it three ways would improve your profits," Bella argued.

Jake only shrugged. "I'm not worried about it. Mostly I just want to be able to do something for you. Seems like you're always doing things to help me out, but I'm never in a position to return the favor," he added self-consciously, remembering all the things she'd bought for his office.

"This from the man who completely rebuilt both our motorcycles on MY whim," she teased. He pulled her into his arms again and smiled into her hair.

"It was a good whim," he defended.


	7. Chapter 7

Thursday afternoon, while Bella and Jacob were curled up on the couch in her former bedroom watching a movie, the apartment phone rang. They'd fallen into an easy, patternless existence through the week, and this was the first time anyone had interrupted them since Bella had gone book shopping.

It was a bit of a wake-up call when Bella heard Quil on the other end of the line. "I saw Charlie today. He's figuring it out."

"What do you mean?" Bella asked.

"I mean, he's been stopping by to see Billy and he knows Jacob isn't there. Billy's been trying to cover for you, but you know how obvious his lies always are. Today he was out at the shop asking questions."

"Thanks, Quil. We'll think of something."

Jacob heard the last part as he came into the kitchen with the empty popcorn bowl. Bella explained, but she had hardly finished talking when her cell phone rang. She went back into the hallway and fished it out of her purse. It was Alice.

"I thought you'd want to know that Charlie's seriously considering a visit to New Hampshire," she said without preamble.

Bella laughed and shook her head. "Alright. I suppose I'll call him. Maybe I'll tell him all my furniture was stolen and Jake's helping me find new stuff." She knew she wasn't really going to say that, but it was funny to imagine the look on his face. Much funnier than imagining the look on his face when she told him the truth.

"That's actually pretty good," Alice said after a moment. Then she sighed. "But you aren't going to tell him that."

"No."

"He'll get over it," Alice said confidently. Bella grinned. It was good to have a psychic for a friend. Even if she couldn't see werewolves, she could see Charlie.

"Thanks, Alice. I'll call him now."

Throughout this conversation, Jacob was looking at her worriedly. He'd seated himself at the kitchen table. When she hung up, she turned to look at him. "If you go finish the movie, will you still hear this conversation with Charlie?" she asked, amused but concerned, too. It wasn't that she wanted to hide anything from him, but it WAS going to be an embarrassing conversation.

"Probably," he admitted. "Do you want me to go out for a while?"

"No." Bella picked up the phone and dialed Charlie's house. This was going to be the motorcycle conversation all over again, and she wasn't looking forward to it.

"Hey Dad," Bella said into the phone, when he picked up. Jacob waited and watched her face as Bella grimaced.

"Bella, have you heard from Jacob? Billy said it should only have taken him a few days to get back, so we were expecting him yesterday. He hasn't called or anything."

"He's fine. I asked him if he wanted to stay the week, so he's not heading home until Sunday."

Bella waited through the long silence on the other end of the line, picturing the redness of Charlie's face. She wished she'd called Billy instead, and not talked to Charlie until he and Billy were in the same room. Billy always seemed to be able to calm him down.

Finally, there was a sigh, and Charlie said, "I told you once that I'd try to be open minded about this sort of thing, didn't I?" he asked in a resigned tone of voice. It was clearly a hypothetical question, so Bella didn't respond. "I suppose I don't really need to ask if you're being careful."

Bella turned her back on Jacob to hide her blush, but knew better than to fail to reassure her father on this point. "I went to the doctor a few weeks ago," she responded quietly. "I'm not being foolish."

Again there was silence as Charlie processed that. "That's my girl," he said weakly.

"Thanks, Dad," Bella replied, honestly relieved to be through with these sorts of conversations. At least, now that he was aware, he would never mistakenly think they needed to discuss it again. "I'll make sure Jake calls Billy before he leaves."

"Billy knew all about this," Charlie commented suddenly.

"I'm sure he suspected," Bella agreed. "But you can't really blame him for not mentioning it. If you're going to be angry with anyone, it should be me, not him." She waited a moment, and then continued, "And if I hear about you giving Jake a hard time when he gets back…"

She heard Charlie take a deep breath. "Of course not," he agreed grudgingly. Bella smiled. Charlie really DID like Jacob. "I suppose I'll see you at Thanksgiving, then."

They said their goodbyes and hung up. "Well, that was mortifying, but at least it's over," Bella commented. Jacob simply looked at her for a minute.

He hadn't thought for a moment that she might actually tell Charlie the truth. The fact that she had, caused quite a few conflicting emotions in him. Of course, he felt relieved to know she wasn't going to hide this from her family – that she wasn't ashamed of being with him. But he was also wondering how he was going to look Charlie in the eye next week when he got home. He figured he'd better make a trip out to the house to make things right before Charlie showed up at the shop. He was also slightly disappointed in himself that he really hadn't thought about responsibility, and he tried very hard not to think how nice it would be if she had to come home from school early. That struck him as an awful thought, and he buried it as soon as it occurred to him.

Then he forced a grin. She noticed, but didn't comment. "Let's finish the movie, then," he suggested easily, knowing he probably wasn't going to pay much attention to it now. And she agreed, knowing that she probably wouldn't either.

Sunday arrived too quickly for both of them. Jacob couldn't bring himself to get out of bed, and kept his arms firmly around Bella, even when she began insisting she was going to die of heat stroke. "If you didn't die of it half an hour ago, then I think you'll be fine," he joked weakly. Already, remembering their morning together made him sad. Tomorrow he would wake up alone. He stared up at the ceiling.

"You've got to be starving," Bella returned, stretching up to plant a kiss on his cheek. She made to get up again.

"Please stay," Jake said quietly. They were the words he wanted to hear from her, but he said them now, and she looked at him with a sad expression for a second before relaxing against him again.

When they finally got up Bella made lunch, but it was clear the atmosphere was one of mourning. Neither of them really wanted to part. After they ate, she walked him down to his bike, parked beside hers. He stood and looked at it for a long time.

"Jake, if you wait much longer, you'll be riding all night," Bella said quietly, adding to herself, _or I won't let you go at all_. But she bit her lip and didn't say it. This was difficult enough.

Jacob turned to look at her, and then pulled her into a bruising hug.

"CAN'T – BREATHE – JAKE!" she hissed with what was left of her oxygen. He didn't usually forget his strength, lately, so she'd been caught off guard. He let her go, but he was grinning, and she was glad, though she wondered if he'd somehow known the part she couldn't say. She decided it didn't matter. She didn't want her last memories of his face to be of pain. "I'll see you soon."

"Not soon enough for me." Jacob put both hands to her face and kissed her the way he'd been kissing her all morning – with more than a little desperation. Bella went without air for as long as she could before pulling away.

It hurt to let him go home. There was always the chance he'd meet some woman in a restaurant on the way, and imprint. There was always the chance Edward would be sitting beside her in class tomorrow without warning.

They were both thinking exactly the same thing, of course, which is what made it so difficult to say goodbye. She kissed him again and watched as he put on his helmet and mounted the bike. "Be careful. I don't want a call from Billy asking where you are in a week."

Jacob laughed, though it sounded forced. "I'll be home in four days."

"I mean it, Jake! And you've got to stop for sleep!"

"Sure, sure. Take care." He put a hand on her cheek. She wasn't crying, but her eyes seemed to sparkle more than usual. She nodded, and he started the bike. He hadn't kicked it out of neutral yet, thankfully, when she suddenly stepped forward and threw her arms around his neck. He put the kickstand down again and yanked his helmet back off before putting his arms around her again.

Bella, in her younger days, had never been too embarrassed about crying. Considering what all she'd been through, she'd mostly felt she was entitled. This, though, was embarrassing. Just days ago, she'd told him she didn't need anybody any more, and here she was gasping for air like she'd die if he left. She wouldn't. She knew that. But she still wasn't looking forward to being separated from him. It felt like they'd only just found each other.

Jacob held her silently, grateful that she was at least sad he was leaving. In spite of their newfound closeness, or maybe because of it, he was uncharacteristically insecure. She'd been very clear that, short of Edward returning, she wasn't going to leave him. That didn't make the months of separation ahead seem any more appealing. It was just wasted time, to his mind, knowing they only HAD so much of it. He held her until she got control of her breathing again, and when she made to pull away, he kissed the top of her head and let her go, keeping her hand in his.

"I love you, Bella Swan," he whispered.

"Love you," she echoed back, a sudden smile at odds with the tear tracks down her cheeks.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

School dragged for Bella throughout her senior year. She studied with Eli and Amanda and their mutual friends. She wrote letters to Jacob, Quil, Embry, and Alice. On rare occasions, Alice came to visit, and they shopped. Alice put all the furniture they replaced into Edward's old apartment for her, so she wouldn't have to go in there herself. She found that having memories of Jacob to associate with school made it easier NOT to think of Edward than it had been the previous year. Levi was easier to deal with, too, now that he'd seen the size of her current love interest. But the days passed slowly, regardless.

She went home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and Spring Break. It was harder to leave each time.

Charlie was remarkably good about things. He didn't ask her where she'd been when she went out, or give Jacob the third degree. Jake was still welcome at Charlie's house, and he and Bella often went to visit at Jake's, too. Bella thanked Charlie at one point over the Christmas holiday for handling it so well. It was a brief conversation, because sharing feelings still made them both uncomfortable, but he managed to convey that as long as Jacob didn't hurt her, Charlie would make him welcome.

That had been a difficult conversation, but she'd hidden her fear well. Because eventually, there was an excellent chance that Jacob WOULD hurt her. She thought it much more likely than that Edward would return, though a small, mostly ignored part of her still hoped…

That evening, they were having Billy and Jacob over for dinner, which Bella had spent all day preparing. Charlie had piled all of their Christmas cards in the middle of the table, to be read after dinner. Once the table was cleared, he tossed half of them to Bella. Jake sat beside her with an arm around her shoulders, and she and Charlie took turns reading their cards out loud.

Charlie picked up one envelope, and said, "Oops," and then put it at the bottom of his pile. Bella noticed.

"Not a card?" she asked, not really paying attention as she opened another.

"It had a Christmas stamp, but I should have recognized the handwriting," he mumbled guiltily. Bella looked up, and so did Jacob. "It's from Carlisle."

Bella froze, a habit she'd picked up from Edward when she was uncomfortable. That letter had probably arrived the day she came back from school. She'd been a little troubled all break, wondering where it was. "I'd like to read that, please," she said, stiffly. He fished it out from under the pile and handed it to her wordlessly. She excused herself to her room, and Jacob watched her go, understanding - perhaps for the first time - why Edward had disappeared again.

When she'd been gone five minutes, he got up and left the room without a word. He found her staring out her bedroom window. Her fingers were on the frame, not as if to lift it open, but just resting there. She didn't hear him come into the room, so she jumped when he put his arms around her.

"Are you alright?" he whispered into her hair.

She turned in his arms, and he was glad to see she hadn't been crying. "I am, truly." She rested her cheek against his chest, and resolved to try and explain. She didn't want Jake to be hurt more that necessary by this because he thought it was something it wasn't. "When he left the first time," she began, her voice quiet, "part of the reason it was so awful was because I didn't know if he was alright. If he was alive or dead. I had no way of discovering where he'd gone, and nothing to prove I'd ever known him at all. For a long time, I was deathly afraid that I'd imagined the whole thing, or if I didn't, that I would forget what it was like to ever know him." She laughed a little at herself.

Jake's heart seemed to stop, but he said nothing, and she continued. "So this time, when he said he was going, I knew what I had to have to stay sane. I had to have Alice. I made him promise not to forbid her to talk to me. And after he was gone, that first summer, I went to the hospital and told Carlisle that I wanted to hear from him every so often – just to hear that Edward was alright. I think he could see I was a mess. He agreed.

"So, every Christmas, there's a letter for me. It doesn't say much. You can read it." She nodded toward her bed, where the letter was lying open. "Just so I know he's alright, so it doesn't feel like last time he left. So it doesn't feel like when you were gone. It helps me cope."

Jake released her and read the short note. Edward was alive, and he'd checked in a few times in the last year. He was going to see the Great Wall of China. That was all it said before it launched into explanations of what the rest of the family had been up to. "I don't ever reply," Bella said quietly. "Alice keeps them up to date on me, and I try to go visit Esme when I can."

Jacob folded the letter and put it back on her bed, putting his arms around her again. "Are you upset?" she whispered after a moment.

"No. Honestly, Bella, looking back I can see that Edward and I would have probably liked each other a lot, if we hadn't been after the same beautiful girl," he said gently. "I'm glad to know he's alright, too."

Bella felt a smile starting on her face. "You've perfected your very patient good guy routine," she observed, quoting a half-remembered conversation that used to disturb her, but now only seemed like a dream.

"Didn't realize you were awake for all of that." Jacob replied worriedly.

"Neither did I, until just now." Bella smirked at him, and then they both laughed. Before she could catch her breath, he kissed her, gently, sweetly. And when his lips parted from hers, he pulled her close again.

"Charlie will be worried that we're up here fighting, I suppose."

"Well, he'll be worried that we're up here, anyway," Bella said, laughing again. She took his hand, "Come on." Charlie was very relieved when they came back downstairs in mostly high spirits to finish reading their cards.

Jacob worked hard during Bella's school year. His shop was gaining quite a lot of clientele, and Quil was thrilled to have him back. The pack had been afraid he'd never come home, he gathered during their first run together.

He spent a lot of time cleaning up the empty store beside the shop – more than he should have, maybe. He wanted it to be as good as what Bella had done for their office, but he wasn't much of a cleaner. He worked on the upstairs apartment, too. He'd decided he was definitely moving in there, but he kept putting it off. Billy still needed help around the house, and it was more convenient to stay there, if he was helping out all the time.

He knew he was driving the pack crazy, but Bella was pretty much all he could think about. Leah, especially, was furious with him. He never quite understood why she seemed to despise Bella so much, until one day he happened to morph just to make a run over to Sam's place, and Leah was the only person in his head. He caught the end of her thoughts before she'd registered his presence.

..._don't understand why it should work out for HER when the man I love had to go and imprint…_

He morphed back and walked to Sam's place instead of running, feeling a little low. Sam's incessant teasing, whenever Emily was out of earshot, picked up his spirits again, though. He had known he was going to get some ribbing for stealing his line.

For all that the waiting was difficult, and parting when she went back to school was agonizing, June arrived before he was quite ready for it. The apartment was still empty, though it WAS clean. He'd finally broken down and enlisted Emily's help. He went to the airport to pick her up. Charlie had flown out for her graduation, and insisted she fly back, since Jake had too much work at the shop to leave just then. She'd paid a moving company to bring her furniture and her bike. They would arrive the following week.

When she saw him, she ran to him and jumped. He caught her easily. "Welcome home." He set her back on her feet and shook Charlie's hand, grinning. This was how it was supposed to be. Everything was finally right. Now all he had to do was get up the nerve to ask her about the apartment. And he only had a week to do it, before her things arrived.


	8. Chapter 8

When Bella arrived at the shop the next morning, Jacob was sitting behind the counter. The stool was much too high, and he looked even taller than usual, so she was grinning. "I think I'll have to get you a different chair," she commented.

Jake didn't answer. He was already out from around the counter and pulling her into a hug. He reminded himself not to squish her. He got to hold her a lot longer, that way. But he didn't have much time for hugs today. He held her by her shoulders at arms length after only a moment, and then took her hand. "Come on. I want to show you." He pulled her toward the door. He'd been excited and nervous about showing her the bookstore and apartment ever since he'd finished them.

Bella saw the intense look in his eyes and tried not to laugh. She'd seen the bookstore during every break, so she wasn't sure why this was suddenly so important, but she let him drag her over there. She hadn't been dressed for hanging out at the shop anyway. She'd only stopped by to visit for an hour before she made her trip to Port Angeles to talk to a wholesaler about inventory, so she was dressed up for once. She remembered very clearly from her Marketing class that you couldn't start a business in jeans and expect anyone to take you seriously. She wasn't going to enjoy that aspect of being a businesswoman.

He dropped her hand to unlock the door, and held it open so she could walk in ahead of him. She didn't even try to stifle her gasp. She walked forward a few steps with her mouth open while he stepped to the side, watching.

Where before there had been a vast, empty, linoleum floored room, there was now a _bookstore_. The walls were painted a muted olive – a color she'd only mentioned once in passing. But most impressively, rows of bookshelves, waiting expectantly for their inventory, stood on a new hardwood floor. There was an open area toward the back that she knew would be perfect for the squishy armchairs and coffee shop she'd been planning on, but every other area was filled with the beautiful shelves.

"Jake," she said finally, "did you BUILD these?" She knew he had. She could still smell the varnish. She turned around to find him grinning.

"If you like them, I built them," he joked, relieved that she looked so pleased. "If you hate them, it was mostly Jared's dad."

"They're amazing. _You're_ amazing." She took a few quick steps back toward him and took both his hands. "Thank you."

There it was, the look in her eyes he'd been hoping for. Like the first time they'd run together through the woods. He stared at her for a long time before she tilted her head sideways, and her expression changed. "Alright, Jake?"

He shook it off. "Yeah. I'm just glad you like it." He ran a hand through his hair and smiled again, but not for long. She was narrowing her eyes at him. "What?" he asked self-consciously.

"Jacob Black. Are you _nervous_?" she demanded, sounding amused. She'd only ever seen him nervous on two occasions, in all the time they'd known one another. He ducked his head.

"Want to see the upstairs?" he mumbled.

"I'm not sure how I'm going to fill all of these shelves, much less a whole 'nother floor! You must have been working on this forever!" But she let him pull her through the door in the back, anyway.

He led her up the narrow stairs, gripping her hand tightly. Yes, he was nervous, but he wasn't going to admit it. He kept his eyes forward, and hoped for the best.

Bella had to trot up the stairs to keep up as he took them two at a time. The hardwood floor continued to the top, and raced away down a hallway to the right. On the left was an open, carpeted room, and on the other side of it, she could see a kitchen. Everything was so clean it shone, but the rooms were empty. Still, this was clearly not part of the store.

He pulled her into what must be a living room, and her sensible heels sank into the carpeting. She kicked them off. She glanced up at Jacob, confused, to find he looked more nervous than he had downstairs. "Is this an apartment?" she asked, already knowing the answer.

Jacob recognized her tone of voice, and felt his stomach drop. But he shot her a quick smile anyway, and then let his eyes look around the place. He'd hoped she would be excited, but she was biting her lip worriedly. "Yeah," he admitted quietly, looking away. "I was thinking I might move in here. Closer to the shop, you know? And –"

He stopped abruptly, realizing that he really WAS a glutton for punishment. He could tell by the look on her face and the tone of her voice that she wasn't interested. He focused his eyes on the ceiling fan, knowing he was going to ask her anyway.

"And what?" Bella prompted, confused. She was relieved he wasn't planning on renting it out to anyone. Her first thought had been that she didn't want some stranger living above her store. But she didn't mind Jacob being here. In fact, it seemed like a great idea, to her. He was looking away, so she faced him and held his hand in both of hers. He looked down at them.

"And I was hoping maybe you'd move in here, too." Only then did he risk a glance at her face. She looked more surprised than he'd expected. Surely she'd known where he was going with this.

Bella stared at him for a second, then her eyes darted around the room. She felt her breathing speeding up, and controlled it. "I'm not sure what to say, Jake."

"I'm hoping you'll say 'yes'," he replied, taking a step closer to her. She stepped away, dropping his hand.

"I want to be sure I understand what you're asking, first."

Recognition flashed in Jacob's eyes, and when she looked over at him, she could tell he understood. They were together on borrowed time. Neither of them could promise forever. And anyway, she didn't want to get married. She'd only agreed to it with Edward because he'd seemed to want it so badly, and even then it had felt like selling out.

Jacob stepped forward again, this time putting a hand to her cheek to prevent her from moving away. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the heat of it. "Bella, you know I understand that it was important for you to finish school. But, knowing we only have so much time, every second you were away felt like a waste to me. I don't want to miss any more time with you. I'm not asking for any promises," he finished in a husky whisper, more so his voice wouldn't break than for any other reason. He WANTED to be asking for promises, but since he couldn't make any in return, he knew better.

Still, it seemed he'd said the right thing, because she reached for him, and her lips found his. After a moment, he lifted her off her feet, sure that this was capitulation, and more than a little pleased. He was shocked when her legs wrapped around his waist. Their kiss changed. Instead of the tenderness he'd felt from her a moment before, she was pressing her chest against his, pulling at his lips insistently. He took two long steps and pressed her back against a wall.

It was awkward, but she didn't seem to mind, and once they'd begun it was over embarrassingly quickly. Spring break had been a long time ago. He let his face fall against her shoulder, panting slightly. "Sorry," he whispered. "That's not how I meant for that to go."

"Smoother?" Bella suggested, reminded of a previous bout of nervousness. They both chuckled, and he set her back on the floor. She looked away and rearranged her dress, thinking for the first time that dressing up might have its advantages after all.

"Yeah, smoother." She watched him run a hand through his hair again, and put her arms around him.

"Don't worry about it. Our bed will be here in a few days. You can make it up to me then."

Jacob looked down at her for a long moment. Then without warning, he picked her up and spun them both around, setting her down again in the middle of the room, and kissing her soundly.

The talk with Charlie about moving out didn't go nearly as well as other recent attempts to assert herself as an adult. Bella was careful to approach him about it after a good meal and, in hindsight, that might have been the worst time to say she was leaving. After all, the food sucked at Charlie's house when she was gone.

Charlie took his dishes to the sink sooner than Bella expected. He could usually be counted on to eat three helpings of his mother's stroganoff, but he HAD mentioned he'd been snacking throughout a dull workday.

"Dad, can I talk to you for a minute?" she asked, pushing her own plate aside. She'd only taken a few bites. He sat back down instead of heading for the TV as he normally would.

"What's up?"

Bella had learned from experience that, like with the motorcycles and Jacob staying over at her apartment in New Hampshire, the best way to begin these sorts of conversations was with exactly what she wanted least to say.

"Jacob and I have decided to move into the apartment above the bookstore," she replied, swallowing hard. She looked up at him, and her hopeful expression fell. He was turning bright red. As usual.

But as she watched, he seemed to get it under control. He took a deep breath through his mouth and locked his jaw. She was surprised, and very hopeful again. Maybe this wouldn't be as horrific as the motorcycle argument.

But the next words out of his mouth caught her off guard. "So, when's the wedding?" he asked resignedly.

"Dad, we aren't getting married. We're going to share the apartment."

He seemed shocked. "Why not?"

Bella looked at him helplessly. She couldn't exactly explain to him that he and Renee had set the perfect example for 'why not,' nor was she at liberty to mention that at any moment, Jacob might become magically bound to another woman. And she absolutely had no intention of telling him that it was partly because she was still in love with –

"This is about Edward Cullen, isn't it?" Charlie spat, standing abruptly. His face had bypassed red entirely and was headed for a deep purple.

Bella stood as well, but she didn't yell, in spite of the ridiculous pain that had taken up residence suddenly in her chest. "I'd love to know why Edward is the first thing on everyone's mind except mine, though it's true that being engaged didn't exactly work out for me last time," she said coldly.

Her composure seemed to bring Charlie's fury to a sudden halt, reminding him that she wasn't the impetuous adolescent he'd dealt with when she first arrived in Forks. "Furthermore," she added, before he had time to respond, "Jacob didn't ask me to marry him. He asked me to move in, which I agreed to do. If you need me, I'll be upstairs packing my things."

Bella left the room quietly, not even slamming her door when she closed it behind her. She leaned against it for a long time and the tears, which had started in her eyes at the sound of Edward's name, poured silently over her cheeks. Yes, it was about him, and the faceless woman Jacob would some day love. But it was also about HER – who she was, and what she wanted. That is what Charlie needed to understand.

She'd only just pushed away from the door and fished her suitcase out of the closet when Charlie knocked. She wiped her face on her sleeve and opened the door. He was standing there looking sheepish. He looked away when she met his eyes. "Thought you might want some help," he mumbled, embarrassed.

"Thanks, Dad. But I'm not moving furniture or anything. I'm just putting together some clothes."

"You're going tonight?" he asked, alarmed.

"Well, it didn't sound like it would be a good idea to stay," she replied, a hint of coldness returning to her voice. She knew Charlie was here to make peace, but she hadn't appreciated being reminded of Edward while her thoughts were with Jake. It was a difficult enough situation without that. On the other hand, her furniture wasn't arriving until tomorrow, and sleeping on the floor wasn't her idea of fun. She'd be wiser to let him off the hook.

"I'm sorry about that," he said quickly. "I was surprised. You know I like Jacob. He's like family already."

Bella smiled and looked up at him. "Thanks."

"Why don't you hold off until the weekend, and I'll help," he suggested, relieved.

"That sounds good."

Charlie stood in her room for a few more uncomfortable seconds, then went back to whatever sporting event was on television. She closed her door behind him and lay down on her bed, staring at the ceiling. There were a lot of memories in this room that she didn't want to think about, but there wasn't any escaping them tonight. She let the tears leak from the corners of her closed eyes until they stopped on their own, and then she got up and changed into her pajamas. For all that she managed not to think of Edward most of the time, and for all that she had found happiness with Jacob, it was still impossibly painful when she was unexpectedly confronted with the absence of him in her life.

At school, she'd expected it. She'd handled Eli's ribbing from time to time without tears because she was ready for it. Today she'd been completely unprepared. Nevertheless, she fell asleep soon after, and her mind conjured dreams of warm arms rather than cold.

Charlie and Bella stood aside as Jacob, Quil and Embry made short work of carrying the furniture from the truck to the upstairs apartment. He'd turned a bit green when the mattress went passed, but seemed determined to hold his tongue. Bella appreciated that. When Jake and Quil came to stand beside them as Embry took the nightstand up alone, however, he glanced into the truck bemusedly. He'd been to her apartment at the beginning of her freshman year, so he could see plainly that things were missing. "That's it?" he asked, glancing at the driver as though he suspected him of stealing the other furniture he'd been expecting.

"That's everything," Bella confirmed. She glanced at Jake, who was looking at her thoughtfully. Clearly he, too, had been expecting the rest. "That other stuff wasn't mine. I left it. Alice says his piano is still there, so I suppose he'll find it if he ever goes back for that." Charlie was looking at her worriedly, remembering her obvious distress when he'd brought up Edward the night before. But she looked fine. She was smiling at Jake, who looked vaguely pleased with this news.

"Besides, Jacob should get to pick out some furniture, too. Maybe we'll go shopping this afternoon."

This seemed to be Charlie's cue to get going, and he was soon gone. Quil and Embry hung around for lunch, as Bella had picked up sandwiches and drinks, which were waiting for them in the fridge. They stood around the kitchen, leaning against the counters since there was no table.

Bella was thrilled to have them there. It reminded her so much of warm evenings at Sam and Emily's – most of the pack squeezed around their table. She listened contentedly while they talked about the shop, and gave Jake a hard time about the size of the bed. The three of them filled the little kitchen, and she was already starting to think that she'd better get a really BIG dining room table – maybe use the living room as the dining room instead of vice versa – if she wanted them all to fit. Which she did.

She recognized this feeling. Years ago, when Jacob had kissed her in the middle of the woods, she'd felt this way for just an instant. It was the future she'd envisioned with Jake. It was contentment and safety and _family_. She grinned at their banter and ate her sandwich in silence. Eventually, though, Quil had to head back down to the shop. Embry said goodbye as well, with many hints about what they might get up to if left alone. They both told him to shut up and lock the bookstore door behind him. Jake shoved him down the stairs, but Embry was much too sure footed to even stumble. They were still laughing when the door closed behind him.

"So, how busy is the shop? We could go to Port Angeles and pick out furniture, if you've got time," Bella offered, still grinning. Jacob's face fell.

"I've got to get back down there to help Quil, actually. We had a few last minute appointments this morning. You should go, though," he said, not wanting to make her wait. But Bella shook her head.

"No, I don't want it to go without you. What if you hated everything I picked out?" She flashed him a smile. "It's your place, too. I'd rather choose things together."

"Me, too," he admitted, but not because he really cared if he got a say in the furniture.

By the end of the summer, they had the place furnished. Renee flew up for a rare sunny weekend to see it, perversely pleased with her daughter's maturity, and glad she wasn't coming for a wedding. There would be time enough for that, in her mind.

Bella and Jacob settled into a comfortable routine with occasional meals at Charlie's and Billy's houses. Bella went by Billy's when Sue called to say he was visiting her, and took care of the dishes and anything else she could get done before he came home.

The meetings with wholesalers continued until Bella found one to do business with, and then the books started arriving. She shelved them all carefully – by genre and then author's last name. It seemed to her that it took a very long time. The computer software she'd purchased helped, though. She scanned each and entered the quantity she had, and it built an inventory record for her. She said a silent thanks to Eli for helping with her research on that during their last semester at school.

Shortly after Bella began placing flyers in the preschools to advertise, careful to always provide something to display them, so they didn't get tossed the way Mrs. Newton had once thrown away the wolf flyers, people began to come. The most welcome customer showed up after only a week. Bella was thrilled to see Angela come through the door. She hadn't heard from her much in the last three years. After Edward had left, there'd been some time when she stopped answering e-mails and returning phone calls. They'd lost track of one another then, and never got back in touch.

Still, Bella hurried out from around the register and hugged her. They sat in the squishy armchairs Bella had chosen just a few weeks before, and told tales of college. Ben and Angela had broken up around the time that she and Edward had. Ben had moved away right after graduation.

When Bella admitted she and Jacob had decided to see each other, Angela had been thrilled. "He's a great guy," she said quietly. "I think you'll be really happy."

"Thanks."

Eventually, though, Angela had to go. She picked out some children's books for the twins' upcoming birthday, and they said goodbye.

Life was busy. Reestablishing contact with Angela meant evenings hanging out with a girlfriend once in a while, other than Alice, who she tried to visit every month or so. Alice came by the store only once, and Bella got the distinct impression that she was memorizing everything about it for someone else's benefit, but neither of them broached the subject. Alice was the only person to whom she did not brag about Jacob's contribution to the store, however. It seemed too cruel.

Years passed while Jacob and Bella established their businesses. As soon as she was turning a profit, she insisted he let her pay a third of the rent, and he gave in. Old high school friends dropped by with a fair bit of regularity. She went out of her way each summer to find out what the nearest schools were assigning, and make sure she had enough of each book in stock. She became very popular with her one-time teachers. Even Carlisle came by, and asked her to special order a few things for him, which she'd done, though she'd been careful to call him at the hospital to pick them up, rather than the home number he'd given.

In those first two years after Bella's graduation, only one member of the pack imprinted, and it was thankfully not Jacob. Bella had been present for it, as it had occurred at Jake and Quil's shop, of all places.

It wasn't unusual for members of the pack to come by the shop. Quil kept a refrigerator full of soda out there, and anyone who was in the neighborhood generally felt comfortable stopping by to have a drink and gab about whatever was going on. What WAS unusual was for Leah to be among them. Leah rarely left the reservation, and even more rarely did she socialize with the pack outside her normal patrols. She knew she'd been malicious to them from the beginning, and it was difficult for her, even now that she was trying to be nicer, to spend time with them. She knew, after all, what they all thought about her. But she'd begun putting forth an effort, and she knew their opinions on that, as well.

It was Paul who'd dragged her out to the shop that day. He and Jacob were standing aside talking while Quil worked and Leah watched, when a car pulled up. The front bay doors were open, and Jacob waved the driver around to pull in from the back. He was expecting him, but not really looking forward to the appointment. Mike Newton had never been his favorite person. On the rare occasions they'd run into each other in the last few years, they'd politely ignored one another's existence. Naturally he'd been astonished to see the guy's name in the appointment book, and in Bella's handwriting, no less.

However, he greeted him kindly and shook his hand carefully anyway. Mike explained what was wrong, and Jake drove the car into the first bay. It was a fairly easy fix, as far as he could tell. Mike agreed to wait. Quil called to him to help himself to a drink, and Leah looked up for the first time.

Bella was coming through the office, about to open the door to say hello to Mike, when she noticed the expression on Leah's face. Her usual scowl had vanished like it never existed. In its place was longing, and a certain hopelessness that would break anyone's heart. And Bella KNEW. She opened the door.

She greeted Mike easily, and even let him hug her. "Mike, I don't know if you know everyone here," she said quickly, as soon as he released her. She walked over toward where Leah was still standing beside Quil. She didn't even bother to introduce Quil. "This is Leah Clearwater. Leah, this is Mike Newton. He was in my graduating class," she said quickly.

Leah had looked at her in shock for just a moment, and Bella knew why. She was sure the girl had hated her even more than usual during the few seconds Mike had spent hugging her. She hadn't expected Bella to lead him to HER. Bella grinned at her, but Leah was already focused again on Mike. Bella glanced over her shoulder. "Oh! Someone's pulled in next door. I've got to go. Good to see you both." And then she was gone.

Of course, it was only another year before they all attended Leah and Mike's wedding. Leah very shyly asked Bella to be a bridesmaid, and that was the end of her bitterness towards Bella and Jacob.


	9. Chapter 9

Three years after Bella's graduation found her more content than she had been since her childhood in Phoenix. Her happiness was not the wild joy she'd experienced with Edward, but it was real. She and Jacob grew closer all the time. Both the bookstore and the shop were doing well. Of course, Alice had long ago predicted the success of the bookstore, and Jacob worked so hard he couldn't possibly have failed, so Bella wasn't at all surprised.

They had purchased a monstrous dining room table that would seat ten people, and it was often in use. It was not at all uncommon for her to make three pans of lasagna and have everyone over. This evening, however, they'd ordered a pizza, and only Mike and Leah were visiting. Bella had closed the store, but Jake and Quil were still finishing up. They already knew why Leah was visiting. Only Bella hadn't yet heard the news. Leah had made Jake promise not to tell.

"Things are about to get very busy for us," she'd started awkwardly, glancing toward Mike as they sat in the living room. Mike held one of her hands in both of his. It had been very difficult for Bella to watch their romance unfold, knowing as she did that the same thing would one day happen to Jacob. Still, Mike's obvious response to Leah's unconsciously devout gaze brought Bella some joy. She'd wanted nothing but good for Leah from the moment she first heard about the mess imprinting had made of her life with Sam. She smiled a little now, watching them, but didn't ask. Leah was obviously about to tell her.

"Mike and I are going to have a baby," Leah followed up quickly, looking back at Bella with a face full of joy.

Bella celebrated with her, and they started planning a shower almost at once. Leah didn't have many girlfriends, but Bella had Angela she could invite – she and Leah vaguely knew one another from random meetings around the bookstore. Mostly, though, the mothers of most of the pack would make up the guest list.

That night, however, Bella felt the first real discontent that had plagued her since she and Jake had moved into the apartment. She wasn't sure why. It wasn't until she startled awake in Jacob's arms, her dreams pushing to the forefront of her mind, that she became aware of what was bothering her.

Jacob was a fairly sound sleeper, but that woke him up. She kissed him and told him she was fine when he asked. It hadn't even really been a nightmare. Just a very vivid recollection of a very vivid vision from long ago.

Bella lay awake, thinking about her vision. It had been so long ago that the details had faded from her memory. As each part of it – Renee and Charlie mixed in with Billy and the pack and La Push – had come to pass, she had hardly registered that she had seen it in the vision. Suddenly, however, the one part that had NOT yet come to pass was foremost in her thoughts. And she didn't know quite what to think of that.

Three weeks later, she made a surprise visit to the Cullen residence. Usually, she called Alice's cell phone to ask if it was convenient for her to visit, which was a euphemism for, 'Edward's not there, right?' But her mind was preoccupied with her vision, and when it came to visions, Alice was the person to see.

Her truck was loud enough that Alice had probably known she was coming from the moment she turned into the nearly invisible driveway, so it wasn't any surprise to Bella to see her opening the front door as she cut the engine. Alice looked uncharacteristically uncomfortable for a moment, but was soon smiling as usual. Bella noted her pale amber eyes and hugged her at the bottom of the steps, grinning. She really didn't get to see Alice often enough.

"I need to ask you about something," she said, as Alice led the way into the house. As was customary, they sat down in the superfluous dining room. That seemed to be the place for discussions.

"If you're wondering about the stocks, they're great for another three months. After that, we'll have to move them." Alice grinned at her.

Bella only laughed. "Yes, that's it. I'm suddenly worried about the stocks." Since her sophomore year of college, she'd hardly bothered to ask Alice about those stocks. She had no idea what they were worth, but as long as the money that appeared in her account didn't come from anywhere _besides_ those stocks, she wasn't fussed. Honestly, she had no idea how much money was even in her account. Money had never really mattered to her.

"You're on the right track, though," she added. "This is definitely something only you can tell me."

Bella looked into Alice's suddenly sad eyes, and wondered if her expression should be answer enough. "You know I can't tell you your future, Bella. I haven't been able to see you at all for years."

"Not at all? Even right now, when I'm here with you?"

Alice closed her eyes briefly, and then shook her head. "As long as you're decided on being … close to the pack, I can't see anything."

Bella dropped her eyes to the table, foiled. In truth, she felt guilty for even being here. The decision she was contemplating should not require the kind of reassurance she was seeking today. Jacob would be so hurt, if he ever knew. But she'd had to come.

And there was always a chance that, as long as she'd also made the decision to go with Edward if he ever wanted her again, that her future might show up in Alice's visions somewhere, far down the line…

"Bella, what are you hoping I can tell you? What are you trying to decide?" Alice asked gently, cutting through her guilty thoughts.

She shook her head. Disgusted with herself, and embarrassed. But she continued, unwilling to give up her hope that Alice might see something in the distant future that hadn't occurred to her yet. "Do you remember Christmas of my sophomore year – what I asked you?"

Alice only nodded. She remembered everything Bella had ever asked her.

"Well, I think I've made a decision, and I wonder if it will affect that vision."

"Any decision you've made since then might have affected it," Alice answered carefully. "I have no way to be able to check, now."

Bella nodded miserably. Alice narrowed her eyes. "Why do you think _this_ decision might be more likely to render that vision untrue." Bella bit her lip and looked up, a vague expression of fear on her face.

"Did I ever tell you that I had a vision once?" she asked, dodging the question for as long as she could. Alice shook her head, so Bella continued. "It was that morning, by the tent, when Edward was off with Seth, and Jacob tricked me into kissing him." She smiled a little, to hide her discomfort. The words 'that morning' would have probably been enough, but she wanted Alice to understand.

"What did you see?" Alice prompted, suddenly seeming twice as interested. Bella's smile grew.

"I saw La Push. Jake and me and Charlie and Billy, Sam and Emily – I saw the life I'm living now, for the most part." The life she had rejected for Edward's sake. The life she'd been willing to give up. Was still willing to give up, if he asked it of her. But she didn't say so. The sadness in Alice's eyes proved she already knew.

Then she repeated, "…for the most part," and her voice was a whisper.

"Was there more?"

"I saw the two most beautiful little boys. With Jake's silky hair, but paler skin. They were holding hands, and running into the trees. Four and five years old, maybe, and the younger one stumbled." Her voice was gone, and she spoke only in a choked whisper. Then she huffed a laugh and turned her eyes back to Alice, realizing she'd been staring into the distance. Alice looked even more miserable than before.

"I'd forgotten, for the longest time. Then a few weeks ago, Leah told me she was pregnant, and the whole thing came rushing back." Her voice was stronger now, if self-deprecating. She'd once looked forward to never forgetting anything again.

"And you wanted me to tell you if my vision of you and Edward being together again would be affected by your choice to have children?" Alice confirmed unnecessarily.

"I should have realized you wouldn't be able to see me anymore. I guess I was hoping that since you could see Edward –"

Bella had prepared for this conversation for several days. Being prepared to talk about Edward was essential. Otherwise she still, occasionally, could burst into tears. Of course, everyone with whom she interacted knew this about her, so it hadn't happened in years. In spite of her preparation, however, she felt tears stinging her eyes. She looked away from Alice for a moment to control them.

Alice sounded miserable. "I'm sorry."

Bella shook her head and chuckled a little. "Honestly, I don't know why I came. It's not fair to Jacob that I would take an unlikely future with Edward into consideration before I decide if I want to have his children. It was a fantasy. It was always a fantasy."

At this Alice took her hand, and her voice became urgent. "It wasn't. Bella, Edward loves you. If you want to be with him –" she stiffened suddenly and broke off. Bella narrowed her eyes as Alice glanced upwards. She was sure someone upstairs had made a noise to get Alice's attention. To prevent her from finishing her thought.

"It isn't about what I want, Alice," she said softly. "It never was. Edward knows I chose him, but that wasn't enough. And I couldn't just turn off my love for Jacob. Jake is willing to accept me, even knowing that I love Edward. The only choice I had was Jacob, or being alone." She shrugged, resigned. "It wasn't a hard choice."

She pulled her hands out of Alice's cold grip and stood. "And really, this choice isn't a hard one either. Though, it will certainly be an interesting conversation." She smiled wryly, trying to improve Alice's mood. Alice walked her to the door. But when she opened it Bella bit her lip and turned toward her.

"This is probably not something that ought to go in your next letter to Edward," she suggested evenly. And then Alice's whole face seemed to crumple in.

"Oh, Bella, I'm so sorry! When he heard you coming, he made me promise not to tell you he was here," she said, her voice reflecting more pain than Bella had heard in it since the day she'd seen Edward asking the Volturi to kill him. "If I'd known what you came to say, I would never have –"

"He isn't going to do anything foolish?" Bella asked quickly, cutting her off. She felt her heart rate increase involuntarily, and fought to control her breathing.

Alice mastered herself, her eyes fluttering closed in concentration. "No. He would never do anything to bring the Volturi's attention back to you. He'll behave himself."

Bella gasped twice more, then took a deep, steadying breath. She closed her eyes and swallowed hard. "I should have called. I'm sorry to have caused him more pain. That was never my intention."

Alice only nodded, knowing the words weren't for her sake. And then Bella ran for her truck. She was doing forty-five down the driveway in no time, and pushed it to its limit once she got onto a proper road. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes as she drove, but she didn't let them fall. Instead, she drove stoically to Charlie's house, let herself in and threw her clothes into the washer. She took a long shower and waited in a towel while they dried, careful to leave the bathroom as she'd found it. She even blow-dried her hair. Jacob could never know she'd been to see Alice to ask about this. It was bad enough that SHE knew she'd done it, and she vowed she would never again make a decision about her future with Jacob based on whether it would affect a future with Edward.

Bella let a few more weeks pass as she thought over the implications of her visit to Alice. Eventually, it occurred to her that nothing had changed. The future she had seen with Jacob was the best future life had to offer her at this point. Every time he held her, every time he kissed her, she knew that to be true. Maybe she loved Edward more. But Edward wasn't here, and probably never would be again. And whatever woman Jacob was going to imprint on wasn't here either.

Bella had spent the first summer after college slightly on edge each time an unfamiliar face appeared at Jacob's shop. After so long, however, she no longer gave it much thought. Jacob might not imprint until his next lifetime. Or the one after. Bella could be long dead by the time his heart was usurped by someone else.

Finally, when the beautiful little boys were filling her dreams every night, she resolved that it was time she mentioned it to him. He was most commonly to be found in bay three at the shop, halfway under someone's vehicle, so that's where she went to find him.

For his part, Jacob had noticed her distraction, and wondered about it. Since it had come about so shortly after Christmas, he hadn't been able to prevent himself from wondering if Carlisle's annual letter had upset her somehow, but he didn't want to ask.

He was halfway through changing the oil on a beat up old Ford Ranger when his nose told him she'd come into the shop. She was usually so busy selling books that she didn't have time to sit and watch him work anymore, so he was surprised. He watched her jean-clad knees appear as she folded her legs under her and sat on the ground near his feet. He didn't bother reminding her how dirty she was going to get. If anyone knew just how bad the shop floor got, it was Bella, who swept it for him when she thought he was too busy to notice.

"Everything alright?" he asked easily. Mostly, things were alright. Life had been good to them these last few years, so he wasn't expecting the heavy silence. He rolled out from under the truck to look up at her.

"I was wondering if you had any free time today," Bella said nervously, gazing down into his eyes. Jacob caught his breath, and wondered for the thousandth time if this was it – the day Bella was going to walk away from him to be with Edward. For the most part, he tried not to think about that. But once in a while, when she looked nervous and upset as she did now, he couldn't help it. He reminded himself he couldn't hold her back, any more than she would be able to hold him, when he imprinted.

He sat up. "Sure, sure," he said quickly, to cover his hesitation. He stood and dusted himself off, then pulled her to her feet. She held his hand as they walked toward the bookstore. He noticed the sign on the door said, 'closed,' and narrowed his eyes. She never closed the store in the middle of the week. His heart constricted in his chest. He could hear the stutter in its beat, and was thankful she could not. He wondered how long it would be before she could.

She pulled him toward their bedroom when they reached the top of the stairs, and he was surprised. The conversation he was dreading wouldn't be happening there, he was sure. He felt himself relax, and thought Bella must have noticed the change in the way he was gripping her hand. She smiled up at him, and pulled him down to sit on the bed with her, scooting herself into the middle, where she looked very small, compared to the bed itself. Compared to him.

"Do you remember," she began, staring earnestly into his face with the expression that usually made it impossible for him not to kiss her, "when I told you what the worst part was?" But her gentle finish to the question had him resisting the urge. That wasn't what he was expecting at all.

"Yes."

Her answering smile was so sweet and sad. He held her hands tightly, facing her on the bed that had been theirs for three years.

"When I said I could see it, I meant literally. A lot like the way Alice sees things, I think. It was so vivid. There was us," she smiled even wider, and squeezed his fingers. "And the pack, and Charlie and Billy. There was so much love. In those instants I saw, there was safety and comfort. But I also saw –"

She stopped abruptly, and Jacob felt his eyes widen. Had she seen something about their future that wasn't safe? Wasn't comfortable? All his worries flooded back. He was sure this was the end, and he felt tears start in his eyes. He'd promised her that whatever time they had, it would be enough. But he wanted more. He waited, knowing she would continue, but in no hurry to rush her.

"I saw our _sons_, Jake," she forced out finally, and he felt his mouth drop. He managed to close it before she met his eyes, and he wondered what she saw there. A slow grin was spreading over her face. "They were so beautiful," she continued, and put a hand to his temple to brush his hair out of his eyes. He leaned into the touch. "You're hair, but paler, like me. They were perfect."

Jacob found he wasn't able to talk. Instead, he reached for her, and tipped them both sideways, crushing her to his chest with a more gentle pressure than usual.

"So, I think it's time we got married, Jake," she mumbled against his chest. The feel of her lips through his tee-shirt sent a shiver through him, but he contained it. He felt a few tears slide down his cheek to land in her hair. Not only had this NOT been their final conversation, but she wanted to have his children. What could he even say? Eventually he thought of something.

"Not a big wedding, though," he muttered cautiously. "Maybe we'll just take Billy and Charlie down to Vegas?" he suggested.

"My thoughts exactly," she agreed. And then she was smiling up at him.

"If I'd thought this was on your mind, I'd have asked a long time ago," he said solemnly after a moment.

"There wasn't anything wrong with waiting," she replied. She was twenty-five now, finally at the point where her mother's objections would have no particular weight.

"Still. You know, I thought a lot about it. I even bought you a ring."

"Jake, I don't want a ring."

"But you'll wear it," he said confidently, suddenly himself again as he processed that she wasn't leaving him. At least not yet.

Bella nodded in defeat, but her smile didn't fade. "I'll wear it."

To her astonishment, he dug it out of his pocket – he'd clearly been carrying it around, and probably for a long time. She felt a flash of shame. She'd made him wait far longer than he'd wanted to. She hadn't realized.

Jacob put the ring on her finger, and she was swept with a disconcerting feeling of déjà vu. Then she looked down at it.

Instead of a diamond, one of which she still had, dangling from the bracelet she never took off, this ring held an emerald. It was very beautiful and her grin, having faded away as she felt him put it on her, came back full force. She stretched her neck up to kiss him, and he was already lowering his head to hers.

* * *

"Charlie?" Bella called, coming through the front door without knocking.

"In here!" Charlie was in front of the TV.

"How do you feel about a road trip to Vegas this weekend?" she asked without preamble. She stood with her hand on the back of the couch, ring clearly visible.

Naturally, Charlie was thrilled. He called Renee. He called Billy, who'd just finished a similar conversation with Jacob. He spent the rest of the week telling every person he encountered, and setting up a wedding announcement with the paper. He took their engagement picture with Bella's old camera, one of several things she'd left behind when she moved because it generated too many bad memories. For once, the sight of it hadn't bothered her.

Vegas was brilliant, and Bella had a lovely time. She got to wear jeans to her wedding, and they were back in town three days later, where the pack was waiting to have a party. It was some party. If Bella had ever bothered to think about what kind of wedding reception she would like, the huge bonfire party on First Beach would have been it.

Each of the men in turn coerced Bella to dance in the sand. Leah even gave up Mike for five minutes. Bella found him much better company now that everything had been explained to him, and they reminisced about their school days before she found herself seated on Jacob's lap as he perched on their driftwood tree, looking out over the dark water. She awoke in her own bed, Jake beside her, keeping her warmer than the green-flamed driftwood fire ever could have.

It was only a few months after consulting a doctor that she became pregnant, and she could tell Jacob was as thrilled as she was. Her vision had become a dream they could share between the two of them, and it was a wonderful time. It was also ridiculously uncomfortable toward the end, and often embarrassing. Fortunately, Leah was going through the same thing. Bella made sure to stop by the hospital to see Leah and her little girl, in spite of her morning sickness.

The months passed more slowly than Bella had imagined they could. Yet, the day DID arrive. And when it did, Jacob could be found underneath an automobile, working. Bella threw open a window and hollered down to him – not something that was her usual habit, but as the child was three days overdue, Jacob wasn't about to scold her. He was upstairs in record time, carrying her to the car, returning for her overnight bag.


	10. Chapter 10

Between contractions, Bella had time to be amused at Jacob's attentiveness. She knew from discussions with her doctor that that probably meant they were going to the hospital too early, but she didn't think she was going to be able to convince Jake to wait at home another few hours until the contractions were closer together, so she didn't try. She didn't scold him for the speed he maintained all the way to the hospital, either.

They were ushered into a birthing room in fairly short order, and nurses bustled in and out, asking questions, and performing various tests. Jacob took this all in stride, grinning during any moment when Bella wasn't in pain. When she WAS, he watched her face anxiously and pushed the hair out of her eyes.

"Alright, Bells?" he asked each time. Bella gasped and nodded. Slowly, her contractions began coming faster.

When the doctor arrived, Bella was in the middle of a contraction.

"How far apart?" he asked at once.

"Five minutes," Jacob responded, but he didn't look at the doctor. He was looking passed him, to the man standing in the open doorway, and his voice was cold. Bella looked up.

Her doctor was looking between Jacob and Carlisle with a bit of worry. "Dr. Cullen has asked if he might assist." He shot Carlisle an annoyed glance. "Naturally the choice will be yours," he said, turning back to Bella.

"May I speak with Bella for just a moment, Dr. Martin?" Carlisle asked suddenly. Dr. Martin appeared undecided until Bella nodded at him. He excused himself quickly.

"Does your psychic know something we don't?" Jacob demanded as soon as the door closed behind him. He was angry. He didn't want the bloodsuckers to have any part of this. They'd mostly stayed out of his life for the last several years, and he'd preferred it that way. Other than Bella's occasional shopping trips with Alice, he was far happier never to have to hear about the Cullens. But if something was going to go wrong with the pregnancy, and Alice had seen it, he couldn't deny that he'd rather have Carlisle in the room…

"No, of course not. Bella is simply very important to me, and since Alice _couldn't_ see anything, I thought it prudent to be on hand. With your permission, of course." Carlisle was nothing if not diplomatic.

Bella was staring worriedly at Jacob, and he looked back down at her and forced his face to relax. He nodded, and she smiled a little. Both of them knew why Carlisle was there. But the reason he'd given was valid as well. Jacob wasn't willing to let Bella go without an exceptional doctor just to keep Edward from seeing these moments.

"It's good of you to look after me so well," Bella said finally, trying to smile at Carlisle. Then she was distracted by another contraction. Carlisle disappeared to retrieve her doctor. That had been rather less than five minutes.

Bella delivered their first son a few hours later. Dr. Martin placed him in her arms when he'd been wrapped, and he was screaming but she beamed down at him anyway. Jacob had one hand on her arms, helping to support the baby, and the other was pushing her sweat soaked hair away from her forehead. When she glanced up at him, she noticed he looked pale. Or, what passed for pale with him. But his eyes were on his son, and she quickly turned back to look at him also.

Later, when Bella had had a chance to clean up, and was lying much more comfortably, Carlisle came in with a birth certificate. Bella was prepared. They'd already agreed to name both boys after their fathers, and this time, it was Bella's turn.

"Name?" Carlisle asked briskly, a slight smile on his face. He'd gone to some trouble to involve himself in this, and even though it wasn't his name on the certificate as the doctor, he was pleased to be among the first to know. For quite some time, Bella had been like a daughter to him. He couldn't help but continue to think of her that way.

"Charlie Masen Black," Bella replied solemnly. "Charlie, not Charles."

Carlisle's hand hesitated just a fraction of a second before he wrote the name down, but he didn't look over at her. If Jacob noticed, he said nothing.

"Your father will be thrilled. Have you told him?" Carlisle asked pleasantly.

"Not yet. We want it to be a surprise. When can I hold him again?"

Carlisle smiled over at her. Jacob was smiling, too. "After you've had some sleep," Jake responded for both of them. Carlisle nodded as Jake continued. "Besides, I want to tell Charlie. He and Dad are out in the waiting room."

Bella sighed. She really WAS exhausted. Jacob helped her snuggle down into the bed a little more, and then followed Carlisle out the door. She was soon fast asleep.

Life with a newborn in the apartment was very different. Bella was glad that Angela had accepted, when she'd offered her a job as bookstore manager. She had a feeling she'd be keeping her on for a lot longer than she'd expected. She was glad she'd hired someone to run the register, too.

Leah had thrown Bella's shower, and Alice had been invited, so they had everything they could possibly need for a baby, and it was all extraordinarily fashionable. Most of it Bella had laughed over, after all the women had gone and Jacob had found her sitting bemusedly amidst piles of wrapping paper, half-finished punch and more presents than she knew what to do with.

But, admittedly, having a car seat for each of their vehicles was helpful, and as little Charlie grew, Bella found herself using more and more of the items they'd been given. She took to sitting with him downstairs in the bookstore - reading to him, or just holding onto his hands while he lay in her lap and gurgled. That's what gave her the idea for having a story hour for local children. She contacted a few of the larger preschools nearby to see if they would be interested in such a thing, and got a very positive response.

Unfortunately, she knew she wasn't going to be able to keep any set schedule for that sort of thing. After a few weeks of pondering, she talked to a local radio station. Sure enough, one of their morning show DJs was willing to come by once a month and read through a short story with the local kids, in exchange for getting their name and station logo on all the marketing pieces. She and Angela worked on that intermittently between Bella's attempts at afternoon naps and feeding time.

Jacob needed far less sleep than Bella, and waking at all hours of the night didn't seem to bother him. He frequently spent an hour or two in the dead of night dancing around the living room with his son, to prevent Bella having to get up. He treasured those times.

The best times, though, were when the members of the pack who had children all got together. Little Charlie often shared a playpen with Mike and Leah's daughter, Liza, while Sam and Emily's toddler ran around it, teasing them, and occasionally throwing in stuffed animals. As long as he didn't try to take the stuffed animals back _out_, it remained a lovely game.

Bella's vision was never far from her mind, or Jake's. Shortly after Christmas that year, she became pregnant again. By this time, she spent almost no time in the bookstore, but it hardly mattered. The store seemed to run itself, for the most part. She was fairly certain that was because of Angela, and she paid her accordingly.

Bella knew early on that this pregnancy was not going to be anything like the last. She got tired much more quickly, and sooner in the pregnancy than she had the first time. After seven months, she was placed on mandatory bed rest, which was ridiculously dull, even with unlimited reading material at her disposal.

Little Charlie was getting around pretty well on his own by this time, and she couldn't keep him out of trouble all by herself, so he spent a lot of time with his namesake, when the shop was too busy for Jacob to stay home with them. Emily, Leah and Angela helped out a lot, too.

Nevertheless, only a month of bed rest had passed when Bella woke up from a fitful sleep and felt a familiar wetness in the bed. She swore, and shook Jacob's shoulder weakly. "Jake, get up, we have to go to the hospital."

Jacob swore too, when he pulled back the covers to lift her out of bed and discovered there was more than water dampening the sheets. He called her father from her cell phone after carrying her down to the car, and asked him to come and stay with Charlie. As he drove, as fast as his Rabbit could take them, he glanced over at Bella and realized she was crying. He set his jaw and reached over to squeeze her hand.

He called the hospital to make sure her doctor was working, and aware they were on their way, and the hospital promised to page him. He lived closer than they did, the nurse assured him, so he would probably be waiting for them. That only made Jacob press harder on the gas pedal.

When they arrived, he pulled right up to the ER, and watched helplessly as they loaded Bella onto a gurney. When he tried to follow, they stopped him in the hallway. "I'm sorry, sir. You can't go in there." Jacob scowled down at the woman, but she was a brave nurse, and held his eyes until he turned on his heel and went back to the waiting room, suppressing a growl. After only a minute in a ridiculously small plastic chair, he went back out to the car and moved it out of the way, trying to ignore the blood on the passenger seat. Bella's cell phone was still on the floor where he'd dropped it earlier. When he'd parked the car, he picked it up and dialed a number Sam had made him memorize years ago.

And he got the one person he didn't want to talk to. "Hello?"

"Carlisle Cullen, please," Jacob said through gritted teeth.

"He isn't here." The voice had turned cold, and Jacob realized that Edward had recognized his voice as well.

"Is he at the hospital?" he asked, hopeful.

"What do you want, Jacob?"

Jake took a deep breath and controlled the tongue of flame that lashed down his back. This was Edward. Edward loved Bella, and would surely help him if he could. He swallowed hard.

"Bella's gone into labor. It's a month too soon. She was bleeding before I could even get her out of bed and – "

"I'll find him. We're on our way."

The phone went dead in Jacob's hand, and he closed it, realizing he was gasping for air. Saying the words – explaining it like that - had broken through the calm he'd been trying to maintain ever since he'd seen the blood on their sheets. He wiped the tears from his face, and took a moment to get a grip on himself before going back into the hospital. His questions were met only with requests that he please have a seat and the doctor would be out to talk to him shortly. He looked at the blue plastic chairs in disgust and paced, instead.

Finally, Dr. Martin came through the door, and took him back into the hallway. "If you're here, who's with Bella?" Jacob demanded before the door had even swung shut behind them.

"Dr. Cullen is with her now," the man replied, looking uncomfortable. He recalled perfectly how Jacob had reacted to Carlisle's involvement the last time. But, to his relief, Jake only nodded.

"Good. I want to see her."

"I'm afraid I can't allow –"

"Dr. Martin?" The brave nurse interrupted, walking briskly toward them from the other end of the hall. "Dr. Cullen has asked that you send Mr. Black in to see his wife."

Jacob didn't look at either of them, but set off in the direction from which the nurse had come. He could follow the smell of vampire to find them. He didn't even notice them running behind him to keep up. He pushed open the door and closed it quickly behind him. If Dr. Fang needed to do anything superhuman to save his wife, it was best there was no audience.

Carlisle and Bella were alone in the room. "How is she?" he asked. But he could see how she was. In three long steps he was beside her bed. Her head rolled toward the sound of his voice but her eyes were unfocused.

"She's going to be fine. I had to give her an epidural. The child was turned wrong, and the cord had wrapped around his neck, but I've managed to get things straightened out. She should now be able to give birth normally."

"Jake?" Bella whispered.

"Why's she so out of it?"

"She's lost a lot of blood."

Jacob remembered the mess in his car that he'd purposely kept his eyes away from and a shudder passed through him. "But the baby?"

"Will be fine. Obviously he's quite young, but there is no reason he shouldn't be perfectly healthy, now. The greatest danger will be stabilizing Bella after the birth." Jacob stared at him with an expression of fear frozen on his face. "I am better equipped to manage that than Dr. Martin, so I took the liberty of signing your name to a document that stated you preferred that I handle the birth."

Jake nodded, and took Bella's hand when she reached for him. He put his other to her forehead. His concern only grew when it felt warm to him. "It's going to be fine, Jake," Bella whispered. "You'll see. Carlisle can do anything."

At this, Jacob chuckled darkly. "I know."

"This will probably go better if you wait outside, Jacob," Carlisle said after a moment. Jake threw him a dark glance, but kissed Bella's forehead gently and went to wait in the hallway. It wasn't crowded, being the middle of the night. He saw Dr. Martin and the nurse whispering together twenty feet or so away, but didn't approach them. There wasn't anything to say. He didn't want them in there, in case it made it more difficult for Carlisle to work. He lowered himself to the floor, his back against the wall, and rested his elbows on his knees.

Eventually, Charlie and Billy showed up, carrying his sleeping son. Some time later, the nurse approached them, and took them to the waiting room on the maternity ward, where they spent a very long night.

* * *

Jacob awoke, groggy, to the sound of Bella arguing quietly with her father.

"I don't understand what you're upset about. Everything turned out fine. I'm fine. William is fine. What does it matter how Carlisle managed it?"

"Bella, it isn't RIGHT. That room should have been filled with nurses, just in case something went wrong. And from the sound of it, EVERYTHING went wrong. If you had died because he was too proud to ask for help –"

Jacob tried not to shift in the uncomfortable vinyl hospital chair. He could picture the exact shade of red that Charlie's face would be, just from hearing the tone of his voice.

"Carlisle would not have let me die, and certainly not for this ego you imagine him to have. If he thought it was best that the room be cleared, then that's what was best. Considering that I'm here to argue with you about it, I can't see why you're so upset!"

Jacob heard the whispered argument clearly, and wasn't sure how to interrupt. He was, as he'd often been, impressed with Bella's ability to sound affronted when asked perfectly reasonable questions. She'd truly become a good liar since she'd returned home from college. And Charlie was no match for her.

"There's just something not right about it. And Jacob signing that form to give Carlisle carte blanche over the whole situation. Carlisle's not an obstetrician. And I didn't even know they HAD forms like that."

"Dad, Jake lost a little confidence in Dr. Martin back when I had to go on bed rest. He'd been promising us that wouldn't be necessary all along. I imagine when things got bad, he probably just wanted to make sure we had the best doctor possible."

Jacob suppressed a grin. He was supposed to be asleep, after all. But he knew she had him. Everyone knew that Charlie thought Carlisle was a wonderful doctor.

Charlie seemed stumped by that, and eventually, he heard him mumble, "Well, Carlisle really is a better doctor than a town this small could hope for." Then he looked over at Jacob. "Do you think we should wake him up?" he asked.

"Let him sleep," Bella replied. Jake could hear the warmth in her voice. "I imagine last night was harder on him than on me. I got to be unconscious for most of it."

Charlie shook his head. "I should go. I need to call Renee, and I'll pick Charlie up from Leah and Mike's place." As soon as he was gone, Jacob opened his eyes.

"I knew when the snoring stopped that you must be awake," Bella teased him, smiling tiredly.

"How are you feeling?"

"A little groggy. It's hard arguing with Charlie when I'm not sure what all went on. I gather Carlisle needed to work alone?"

Jake dragged his chair over to her bed, whispering, "It was a very near thing. He says that's it. No more babies."

Bella only smiled, taking in the sudden wetness in Jacob's eyes. "I had a feeling…"

He held her hand in silence, thankful it was squeezing back. Thankful it was warm. Because he'd spent half the night with the knowledge that if he couldn't save her life, Carlisle would certainly still save _her_.

"Have you seen him?" Bella asked after a moment. "Did you get to hold him?"

"I mostly saw him through the glass. He looks a lot like Charlie did. Carlisle only let me hold him for a few seconds, and I think he was breaking the rules. The nurses looked scandalized." Jake smiled her favorite smile, remembering.

"How long does he have to stay in the hospital?"

"At least a week, maybe more. And you're going to need a few days, too. They had to give you a lot of blood." Bella grimaced at that, remembering a time when Edward had been so put out by the change in her scent due to transfusions. She pushed the thought aside.

* * *

The first time Will woke Charlie up screaming in the night, Jacob moved his crib into their bedroom. When it happened again anyway, he promised himself they were moving out of the small apartment as soon as possible, and started asking Jared's dad about building on the reservation.

Bella came up from the store one afternoon, several months later, carrying Will and guiding Charlie carefully up the stairs by the hand, to find Jacob at the dining room table alone. Story time had just finished, and it was the middle of the day, so she was curious what had dragged him away from the shop for once. She set the gate at the head of the stairs behind her and let Charlie loose. He immediately ran for his father, but fell. She grimaced. He was as klutzy as she'd ever been. She hoped he eventually inherited his father's easy grace. She followed him, but he was already up and running again.

The table was covered with huge sheets of thin paper, which in turn were covered in blue lines and tiny text. She squinted over Jacob's shoulder and he grinned up at her, his smile like the rising sun. She felt a little more energetic just seeing it and hefted Will on her hip. "What's all this?"

"Blueprints," he stated, still grinning.

Bella rolled her eyes and plopped down in the nearest chair. "Yes, I can see they're blueprints. What are they for?"

"I was thinking the apartment is kind of crowded. I thought maybe it was time to build a house." Jacob glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, his head turned toward the drawing in front of him.

Bella looked surprised, but not unhappy with the notion. "Build a house? Where?"

Jacob turned to face her. This was the tricky part. He wanted to move back to La Push. But Alice couldn't ever visit there, and he knew she and Bella were still friendly. They went shopping every so often, and Alice had delighted in coming to the baby shower before Charlie was born....

"I was thinking maybe in La Push," he offered worriedly. But he needn't have worried. Bella's face lit up.

"It would be great to be closer to Billy. I haven't been able to get over there to help out like before, and I know he'd love to see the boys more." She bit her lip, her eyes darting to the drawings and back to him.

"Here, take a look," he said quickly, grinning again at her acceptance. He tried to show her the first drawing but within minutes she was shaking her head.

"Jake, I can't make any sense out of that. You'd better just choose what you think will work. Although –" she trailed off.

He looked over at her curiously, and she looked thoughtful. "Well, it might be better if we had an extra room, you know? For Billy. In case he ever wants to stay with us." Jake's answering smile was blinding.

"That's a great idea!" He shuffled through the stack, and removed several sheets, placing them on top. "Four bedrooms, at least," he explained. Bella laughed, and caught Charlie by the wrist. His fingers were just curling around the corner of the pages that had captured his attention. Jake noticed her hands were full, and scooped him up, standing. "But we can look at these later. Quil's handling the shop. Let's do something fun."

"Like what?" Bella asked. It was nearly time for the boys to be put in their rooms so they could cry about having to take a nap until they actually fell asleep.

Jacob knew the schedule. But he wanted them along for the ride. Also, driving could sometimes get them to fall asleep _without_ the crying. "Let's drive out and look at the land," he suggested. His excitement was so evident that Bella agreed easily. Clearly this was something he wanted very much.

For her part, Bella was content in the apartment. But she loved La Push, and had a lot of good memories there. And Jacob wanted to move back, which she could understand. They drove out to look at the site, and Bella grinned the whole time, though of course, it was just forest and she could in no way visualize a house situated where Jacob was pointing.

It was only a few months before driving to the site of their new house became a daily occurrence. And every time she went out there, _someone_ was working. By the time the main structure was complete, and they'd started on the roof and interior, her father had taken to cruising passed daily as well. His visits slowed down the pack's efforts considerably. They could not continue tossing boxes of shingles from the ground to the roof while he was hanging around chatting with Sam.

Jacob tried to divide his time between the shop, the house, the pack, and Bella and the boys. He didn't sleep much. She finally had to put her foot down, and he took a vacation from the shop entirely, but at least the circles under his eyes went away. Quil didn't seem to mind, and some days the shop was closed while they both went out to the house. Quil joked that it was all in clever scheduling.

Leah and Angela helped Bella pick out all the things the men weren't interested in, like carpeting and counter tops. It was the busiest year Bella had ever lived through, and then one day, very abruptly it seemed to her, it was done.

After Jacob closed the shop, everyone piled into the Rabbit. He'd told Bella he was taking her to a movie. They dropped off the kids at Charlie's place, but she knew something was up when he headed in the opposite direction from the highway. She glanced over at him and noticed his mischievous expression. "What are you up to?"

Jacob shook his head and kept driving. "Jake?"

He looked over at her. "It's done," he said excitedly. "I want to show you."

They'd been working on the house for so long that its state of completion had escaped Bella's notice. "What's done?" she asked, confused.

Jacob laughed out loud and sped up. Bella figured it out when they crossed the treaty line. "The HOUSE is finished? Are you kidding?!" Then they both laughed, more from excitement than amusement. Bella was out of the car as soon as it stopped, but Jacob caught her before she could go in, and scooped her off her feet in one easy movement, letting her head dip dangerously close to the gravel.

"Not so fast, Mrs. Black," he teased as she smacked his chest, laughing. He carried her into the house and set her down with a flourish. "Welcome home."

Bella didn't look around at the house. Instead she turned back towards the warmth in his voice and snaked her arms up his chest and around his neck. "Welcome home," she repeated, stretching up on her toes as he leaned down to kiss her. Bella had to break away first to breathe, but his arms were tight around her waist. "The boys are spending the night at Charlie's, aren't they?" she asked, breathless and hopeful.

Jacob laughed, delighted she approved. "That was my master plan," he admitted, ducking his head. She was kissing him again almost before he'd finished talking, but he didn't mind. Having toddlers around the apartment all the time had made spontaneity almost impossible. He'd missed it. And when she dragged his tee-shirt up over his ribs, he guessed maybe she had, too.

"Half-naked doesn't bother me so much anymore," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his chest. He chuckled.

"Good, because I don't plan to be _half_-naked very long, and I'd hate to think you were disturbed."

He reached behind him and closed the front door, looking forward to a very long night.

* * *

They spent several happy years in that house. The boys grew like weeds, and were both tall for their age at four and five, respectively, the year their mother turned thirty.

The weeks preceding this birthday had been filled with nightmares that Bella wasn't able to remember or explain to Jacob. They woke the family repeatedly; even Billy, who'd taken up residence in a room on the first floor not long after the house was complete.

The best way Bella could explain was to say that she was dreading something, but couldn't think what. Another few weeks passed, and the nightmares ceased, to be replaced only by a restlessness Jacob hadn't noticed in her since their first years together. But the circles under her eyes didn't fade, in spite of her admonishments that he shouldn't worry. That she was fine.

And she WAS fine. Until suddenly she wasn't, and might never be again.


	11. Chapter 11

The phone call came from Leah. "Bella – Something's happened to Jacob. There are vampires in La Push. The rest of the pack's gone to meet them and I'm going now."

Bella felt her heart stop, then kick back in loudly. "Where?"

"Out near the cliffs, and they're way over the line," Leah replied shortly. Then the phone went dead in Bella's hand. Out near the cliffs.

"BILLY?!" Bella called, slamming the handset onto the receiver. She could hear his wheels click on the tile before he appeared in the kitchen, where she stood remarkably still for just another instant, hand still on the phone. And then if she could have been fast enough to blur, she would have. "The boys will be up soon. I have to go. The pack's in an uproar about vampires over the line. Will you stay with them? Maybe Sue could stay with you?" She babbled as she rushed passed him. She was out the door before he answered. She cast a glance at her truck, but retrieved her motorcycle from the garage instead. It was faster.

Jacob had been patrolling, one of many new duties he'd taken over when Sam had stepped down as Alpha two years previous. He'd caught the scent of several bloodsuckers he'd never met, and started tracking them. Quil was working, but Embry and Jared were on the other side of the res. Jared morphed to call Sam to spread the word, and then followed Embry out toward the cliffs.

There were three of them, and only one of him, but they were so surprised to see him that he got a chance to fight just the first one. Jacob knew immediately that this was a different caliber of leech than the newborns they'd once killed so easily. But there was no way to avoid combat. Their red eyes were full of hatred, and the largest came toward him, grinning.

"Careful, Felix," the one behind him said. The oncoming vampire only grinned wider.

It was a brief engagement. Jacob tore his right arm off first, and both the others howled in fury as Felix cried out. Jacob could feel most of the pack in his mind now – their approval, and their alarm. They were too far away.

And then a familiar voice rang out. "Jacob, give me permission to cross!"

The three vampires he didn't know turned for an instant to look at the one he DID. He took the opportunity to remove Felix's other arm. He didn't need Edward's help. And he certainly wasn't going to invite him to cross the line.

But the other two had turned back towards him now, and the tiny female was smiling at him. He had just enough time to fling Felix's arm deep into the woods before he was down. The pain was intense, and he howled. He knew the whole pack was brought to a halt while they suffered with him, their minds linked. It seemed to last forever. When he could finally open his eyes again, Felix was striding out from the trees, one arm already reattaching itself, and grasping the other.

Jacob was surrounded. Edward? he asked silently, admitting that defeat was inevitable. The pack was minutes away and whatever that female had done could shut them all down completely, unless they were human. And, human, they were no match for the bloodsuckers.

And then Edward was there, behind the female. "Good afternoon, Jane," he said, his voice carefully neutral.

"It is," she replied, her face uncharacteristically animated with pleasure as she turned her attention to him. "We had no idea how much fun there was to be had in Forks. A werewolf pack! And Aro didn't know. He'll be so disappointed in you." She didn't add that she intended to exterminate them. She didn't have to. Edward could have guessed as much without reading her mind.

"We have a treaty with the wolves that goes back four generations," Edward replied. "They were our allies when the newborn army attacked, as I'm sure you've gathered. We ask that you respect our treaty."

Jacob watched, crouched to spring, as Felix stood aside, reattaching his left arm, now. The third took a step back. Perhaps he was reasonable. He was looking appraisingly at Edward. Jane was also turned away from him to face Edward. Jacob took the opportunity to morph. If he got hit with that kind of pain again, he didn't want it debilitating the entire pack. He threw his shorts on hastily, ignoring Jane's disinterested glance.

"We care nothing for your treaty. The wolves cannot be allowed to live. They are a danger to our way of life as surely as your precious human was."

"The treaty maintains their silence. There is no reason to harm them."

Jacob could hear the persuasive influence in Edward's voice and wondered if it had any effect on a fellow vampire. Jane tilted her head as though considering. Then she simply nodded at the reassembled Felix, who grinned at Jacob again.

Jacob dimly heard Edward shout, "WAIT!" He saw him go down under the curse of Jane's beautiful smile. And then his chest exploded with pain, and he found himself gasping for air. Human as he was, he'd barely caught Felix's movement, and he wasn't fast enough to fend him off. He landed on his back, several yards away, and slid a few more feet. Liquid started collecting in his lungs. They were clearly punctured – and they weren't going to heal with a rib stuck through them.

Embry and Jared arrived just then, tearing through the trees at full speed. Jane turned her smile from Edward to them. Jake could see that the third vampire stood over Edward, to keep him from attacking her. The pack shut down again. They were closer. Howls of agony rang out all around them. Jacob felt tears starting in his eyes for the pain of his brothers. And then he heard it, and one of them spilled over. The sound of an approaching motorcycle, pushed to its limit. He could have dealt with dying today for the pack – protecting his land and his family. But to have Bella here! He exchanged a horrified glance with Edward, but there was nothing either of them could do.

The bike skidded to a stop, only feet from him, and then she collapsed beside him. His breathing was shallow. "Carlisle is on his way," Edward whispered, already knowing it was too late. Then he turned to the waiting Volturi. Jane and Felix looked amused. "Demetri, no one has to die here," he said calmly. No one else. Demetri took a step back after a quick glance at Jane. Edward stood. The howling stopped abruptly.

"Stay where you are," Edward called to the wolves, and to his surprise, they obeyed, only inching closer to where Bella was crying silently over Jacob.

"Caius was right," Felix commented wickedly. "And I believe I called dibs." Edward's answering snarl was drowned out by the reaction of the pack, but Felix only grinned.

"How horrifying for you," Jane added, gazing dispassionately at Bella and Jacob. "Your mate chose a dog over you?" Even Demetri grinned at that. Edward only growled.

"There must be something you want. Tell me what you'll take in exchange for a guarantee of safety for the pack." He was running out of options. Alice had called him from Denali, where the rest of his family was staying out the week, trying to make peace with Tanya and her sisters. They weren't going to make it in time to help him. And once they got through him, Jane could shut down the pack while Felix and Demetri dismembered them one by one. And then they'd have Bella, and there'd be nothing anyone could do to save her. He had to negotiate. He tried to block out the sound of Bella's gasping tears and concentrate. It wasn't an easy thing.

Bella could hardly believe she'd beat the pack, but she vaulted off the bike almost before she had it stopped. She let it fall, and ran to where Jacob lay, clearly broken, on the ground. He tried to say something, but blood trickled out of his mouth, instead. She cast a fearful glance at the vampires behind her, but they seemed unaffected. It appeared Edward had been correct years ago when he said werewolf blood was unappetizing. She was perversely thankful for that, at least.

She put both her hands to his face, wiping the blood away. "Shhh. Don't try to talk. Stay with me, Jake. Carlisle's coming." Jacob shook his head slightly, and covered her hands with his own. He knew, even if she did not, that this was the end. A second later, his eyes fell closed.

And then Bella saw something extraordinary. Jacob's likeness. His spirit-self, rising from his body. He eyed her speculatively as her eyes followed him. "You can see me, can't you?" he asked, amazed.

"Yes," she whispered. Every head turned toward where she knelt, eyes raised, talking to nothing.

"You see souls. I always knew there was something wrong with your brain," he joked. But Bella didn't feel like joking.

"Jake!" she choked, a sob escaping.

"Don't Bells. Don't cry. Remember our promise that we'd be thankful for whatever time we had. We got far more time together than either of us had a right to hope. Let that be enough." Bella nodded helplessly, her eyes never leaving his.

"I want you to go with Edward," he continued.

"But the boys!"

He reached out an insubstantial hand toward her, but pulled it back. "I want you to remember me warm," he whispered. Then answered her, "It might be the only way to protect them. Go with Edward. Don't look back." Her eyes followed him as he started to move away, toward the ocean. "I love you, Bella."

"Love you, Jake," she whispered brokenly. "Miss you already."

And then he was gone. Bella didn't look down at the body before her. Instead, she stared into the distance, out over the water for a long minute before her eyes shifted to Edward's stricken face. Only then did she notice that everyone was staring at her. But she wasn't quite the awkward klutz she'd been as an adolescent, and she didn't really care what they thought. She stood abruptly and walked over to stand beside him, facing Jane, tears still streaming silently down her face. She knew what had to be done. To protect her sons. To protect the pack.

"Edward is not a member of the tribe. If you're willing to negotiate, you must negotiate with me." She heard the dullness of her own voice, but also the steel in it. And she could see in Jane's eyes that she heard it as well.

Behind her, Bella could feel the remaining members of Jacob's pack – her family – watching as she played the most deadly game of all. Again.

"You have nothing to offer us that we want," Jane said dismissively, already bored. She turned back to Edward. "Aro will not honor the treaty for anything less than you and Alice joining with the Volutri."

"Impossible," Bella spat angrily. "Alice is not his to give."

Neither Jane nor Edward looked at her, their eyes locked on one another. "He can have me," Edward said quietly. Jane smiled only slightly, and Edward's features took on a wary expression. She shook her head.

"Both of us, then," Bella suggested hesitantly, remembering Jacob's last words to her. "Aro would honor the treaty for both of us."

Finally, Jane spared her a surprised glance. "You will give yourself to the Volturi to protect this pack?"

"To protect the whole tribe. And conditionally," Bella returned, her chin raised.

"Conditionally!" Felix scoffed quietly, but Jane threw him a quelling glance.

"What conditions do you propose?" Her tone was slightly more interested than it had been a moment ago.

"We will give you fifty years of our time – "

"Ridiculous," Jane commented, cutting her off. "Fifty years in exchange for an open-ended guarantee of safety?"

Finally, Edward found his voice. "One hundred, then, but no more."

"And I have more conditions," Bella added, ignoring the warning growls that had erupted behind her. Clearly the pack thought one hundred years was excessive. But she didn't want to waste this advantage. She knew Jane was finally interested, she could see it in her eyes. She wondered, suddenly, if she was seeing Jane's soul.

"One hundred years…" Jane mused, knowing Aro would approve. "What are your other conditions?"

"That we be allowed to maintain Edward's diet, and not be required to feed with the Volturi," Bella said quickly. "And that we not be separated." She paused, then glanced at Edward. "Unless by his request."

Jane exchanged a glance with Demetri. He looked back at her passively enough. She didn't look at Felix. She didn't need to, to know that he was furious. She wasn't very happy with it herself, but she knew Aro would approve of this negotiation. And she knew he would be disappointed in her if she failed to secure these two additions to the family. She scowled. Because they WOULD be family, eventually. They were too powerful to be relegated to the guard forever.

"You have one week to bury your dead. If you do not present yourself to Aro in Volterra by the end of that week, we will hold the treaty broken, and you will both be destroyed along with your precious dogs."

"Thank you, Jane. We will see you a week from today." Edward spoke quickly, aware that Bella had shut down again at Jane's first sentence. He watched as Jane, Demetri and Felix disappeared into the trees, keeping his eyes averted from Bella, who'd run toward the pack as soon as Jane's back was turned.

It was Quil, the last to arrive, who morphed as she approached and caught her, his nakedness irrelevant as she sobbed against his shoulder. Finally, Edward let himself turn around. "Which of you is Alpha?" he asked. His eyes darted to Paul, who growled at him.

I am, came an answering thought from Embry. The rest of the pack stared, and Edward could hear their surprised thoughts. He could hear EMBRY'S surprise, but also his surety. Clearly no one had ever determined his parentage until this moment. Edward nodded.

"If it is acceptable to you, I will ask Carlisle to draw up the document between the tribe and the Volturi. It would be prudent if each member of the pack were to sign it." Edward was finding it hard to concentrate. His eyes continually strayed to Bella as she cried in Quil's embrace. But he couldn't comfort her now. There was too much to do. And he wasn't sure she would accept his comfort if he offered it.

That is acceptable. We will take care of the funeral arrangements for Bella and Jacob, Embry replied. Edward saw in his mind the plan that was forming. Throwing her truck off a cliff into the sea. No bodies to be found. Jacob would be buried quietly tonight. He nodded, approving.

"I should contact my family. They will want to pay their respects as well, with your permission."

Embry morphed, and came towards him. "After what you have sacrificed for the sake of our tribe, you will always be welcome on our land. You and Bella, both. Your family may attend the funeral." Paul growled again behind him, and Embry scowled at him. Paul and Jared took off into the woods as Embry turned back and offered his hand to Edward to shake.

Edward returned to the white house by the river and phoned Carlisle. They would arrive with hours to spare before Jacob's burial, and there was much to accomplish in that time.

Bella held Quil weakly, but he made up for it. He let her go only briefly, to dress, and then lifted her into his arms and carried her to Billy's old place. Seth Clearwater lived there now, and he knew he couldn't take her back to her house until the children had been taken to the Newton's place. Leah was already headed there to pick them up.

Bella managed to sit upright when he deposited her on the familiar, too-small couch in the living room, but only by an effort of will. She remembered falling asleep in this spot, soaked to the bone after her cliff dive, Jacob asleep on the floor beside her, leaning against her side. She wished, for a few moments while Quil stepped into the kitchen to make a call, that Jake hadn't been able to save her that day. But then Quil was back, and he was explaining the plan. Sam, Jared and Paul were taking her truck up to the cliffs already. The boys were going to Leah's house for the night. It was all happening faster than she could comprehend.

"Come on," he said, holding out a hand. "It's time to go tell Billy."

Bella looked up at him in horror and the tears that had dried up briefly during the trip back to La Push came cascading down her face in torrents. Anything but that. Anything but telling Billy his son was dead because of her. Because her past had come back to haunt them both. She shook her head, but he just lifted her from the couch and set off toward her house.

They arrived only moments before Embry and Seth did, carrying Jacob between them. Billy watched Quil enter, carrying Bella, and he already knew. Quil said nothing, simply taking her upstairs to her bed and tucking her in there. He returned to Billy's side in time to stand with him as he watched them lay Jacob's body on the couch. It was ridiculously quiet. Bella's gasping sobs were the only sounds they could hear.

The pack, Bella, Billy and the Cullen family met beside the grave Embry and Sam had dug that afternoon. Bella had run out of tears during the course of the evening, and it was quite late. She felt – empty. Exhausted. She would never set eyes on Jacob or their children again. She dimly recognized the numbness and was grateful for it. And grateful for Jacob, who had long ago taught her that it wouldn't last, and she could survive it.

Edward stood with his family a respectful distance away and wondered what it said about him that he was as anxious to get Bella out of there as he was sad for her loss. He listened as first Sam, as former Alpha, and then Embry as current Alpha said a few words about Jacob Black, and it occurred to him again that he'd probably have liked Jacob quite a lot if he had been able to get passed hating him.

When they fell silent, the pack filed passed. He felt rather than saw his family take their leave as well. His eyes were on Bella. He watched Leah hug her. Bella returned the embrace with leaden arms, and her eyes immediately strayed back to the unmarked grave. Billy passed him last, grasping Bella's hand for only a moment and then wheeling himself back to the waiting car. Embry was driving him home. The rest had all run.

It was silent, then, for a long time. He didn't breathe. He didn't make any sound that might interrupt her. Finally, when the sky began to get light, Bella turned her head to look at him. "I know he's not there. But I'm not sure I can walk away." There were tears in her eyes, but they didn't fall. "Will you help me?"

Edward stepped forward and took her hand, pulling gently until she turned and took a step towards him. Neither smiled. Neither spoke. He picked her up and carried her back to the white house on the river, where his family was waiting. Their family, now. It was no way to end a life. But it was an end. It was no way to begin a life. But it was a beginning.


End file.
